The Bold
31 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Falsafah untuk TLT, semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
Fortune favours the bold.
Serabut
26 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Falsafah untuk TLT, semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
Seseorang yang otaknya serabut, mejanya serabut, biliknya serabut, dirinya pun serabut.
Some say messy minds have messy desks. It is mootable (why is there no such word in the Oxford dictionary?) though. If you look at it another way, an empty head has an empty desk. The mess may indicate that some work is in progress, so someting is actually brewing in the mind. No ?
Discipline – the lifeline
25 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Falsafah untuk TLT, semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
“Discipline is the bridge between hope and reality, between thought and achievement, between wishing for success and becoming truly successful.”
Hopefully every time when these words stream through my thought, something resolute crystallises in the backyard of my mind.
Falsafah untuk TLT II
24 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
“He who knows much about others may be learned but he who understands himself is more intelligent. He who controls others may be powerful but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.”
Tao WisdomFalsafah untuk TLT I
23 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
Plasapah untuk hari ini ialah “you cannot kindle a fire in any heart until it is first burning bright in your own”
Source : unknown.
Untuk nyalakan api semangat dalam hati orang lain, hatimu sendiri mesti semarak dengan api semangat itu. Aku idak le nak semarakkan apa-apa api semangat dalam hati siapa-siapa. Aku hanya ingin semarakkan api semangat untuk mencapai yang lebih baik dalam masa tak sampai setahun ini. Untuk itu, semangat ini harus selalu-selalu disemarakkan. Kat mana lagi kalau tak di blog ini. Biag semarak sampai tebakag blog ini, tak mengapa.
Kalau Tuhan bagi aku sedikit kreativiti, aku ingin curahkan kreativiti itu untuk tolong klien-klienku capai penyelesaian menang-memang tanpa proses mahkamah. Aku harus mengarang surat yang meruntun simpati mereka yang menempel di tampuk kuasa itu. Yang ada sedikit ugutan halus yang boleh jadi mega kalau mereka enggan peduli. Hmmm… apa ya perkataan yang sesuai untuk mereka itu ..
Oh ya… untuk ia terus membara, ia juga harus membakar di dapur mindaku tika aku sujud padaNya.
tak der dessert pun, kenyang juga
17 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Semalam, tertonton satu part dalam satu drama china kat tv. Orang tak tau tajuk apa sebab orang memang jenis yang tak pernah tengok drama china. As a matter of fact, orang memang jenis tak tengok tv. Dalam satu part tu, ada satu watak, dia kata, hidup ini macam western course ke, camtu. Cinta dalam hidup adalah umpama dessert. Kalau tak de pun, makan kenyang juga. Orang pikir, ada betul jugak. Kalau ada dessert memang bagus, tapi kalau tak de pun, dapat makan main course dah cukup bagus. Kenyang alhamdulillah. Betullah jugak kan, takkan kalau tak dak dessert, kita nak lempag semua apa yang dihidang. Bodohlah kira, kalau cam tu.
Ada tak ada, terimalah itu sebagai ketentuan untuk kita. Malahan insaflah, banyak lagi nikmat hidup yang Allah beri yang mesti kita syukuri. Kalau asyik fikir yang tak de dan butakan mata untuk yang sekelian ada di sekeliling kita, bukankah itu kufur nikmat namanya ?
Orang bukan kes ‘sour grapes’. Kalau tak der bahagian, memang tak der lah. Redha dengan ketentuan itu lebih baik daripada memberontak dalam pasrah. Mulut kata redha, kat blog pun kata redha, tapi memberontak seribu satu macam dalam tindak-tanduk. Banyak kes macam tu kan ? Tak payahlah nak bagi bagi contoh. Dan tak payah juga, cari alasan kebaikan-kebaikan kalau tak der dessert. Inginkan dessert itu adalah fitrah. Tapi ingatlah kalau tak der itu, menganggap ketak-adaan itu sebagai ujian yang istimewa dari al-Khalik adalah attitude yang lebih menguntungkan.
After all, life is what you make of it.
Bangsaku Tidak Hebat Kalau Tidak Kerana Islam
12 Jan 2012 2 Comments
That is what I believe all along. What was the glue that kept us Malays together and one pre-Independence time ? I guess, our faith in Islam. Was it easy then to bring us together, if not for our faith in Islam ? I guess not.
Islam has united the most barbaric of peoples; the ancient Arab tribes. They buried their female infants alive (ooppss.. maybe not a good example of their peculiar barbarism, for the present Malays are equally guilty of abandoning babies). What are we today, compared to their barbarism ? But Islam has enlightened them, enriched them, nourished them, taken them out of the darkness and lo, if the Jews and the Christians had not resisted the One God, there would be only one revealed religion today.
gosh it’s already the 4th ..
04 Jan 2012 1 Comment
It’s already 2nd day at the office this new year. I’ve read speculations. Some say it’s going to be a turbulent year (yet again ! But just notice how I emerged unscathed every new year. Allahu akbar !)
2011 ? I say, what a year ! The sweetest of 2011 took place on the 9th day of December. Am still savouring the sweetness, now licking my lips as if the taste lingers there. Then on 27th there was a letter from Hong Leong Bank offering me a platinum business credit card. Will I ever need a credit card again all my life ? Don’t know.
In 2011 just before it ended I discovered and learned a personal meaning of a very great du’a. Allahu akbar ! By the way, do you notice how simple du’as that the Prophet taught us can also be relevant in aspects other than that it was originally showcased for ? If you let me know your own personal experience regarding this, I’ll tell you mine.
I read the forbidden horoscope as well, because Yahoo made it so so available that day. Well it says Taureans are gonna be lucky in many many ways 
Caya lah ! Even the Chinese horoscope predicts the Roosters are the luckiest of all the twelve.
My blood pressure reading is getting better, for all the short time exercises daily and my sister’s blended celery juice that we take every day . And it is only the beginning of the new year.
Here is one tough old girl who is yet to experience her best days
Sungguh, Mati itu Dekat
29 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
Sesungguhnya mati itu amat dekat.
Baru pagi ini aku ketahui jiran sebelah pejabat telah meninggal hari Ahad lepas. Disemadikan di Parit, Perak. Aku selalu berurusan dengannya kerana majikan tempatnya bekerja adalah klien firmaku. Apa yang boleh aku katakan adalah, beliau seorang yang berdedikasi dalam tugasnya. Urusan-urusanku dengan majikannya sering sahaja menjadi mudah. Kenapa ya orang-orang yang ada kualiti yang bagus, matinya begitu cepat ?
Usianya 12 tahun lebih muda daripadaku. Aku tidak tahupun yang dia sedang mengandung. Khabarnya sudah enam bulan lebih. Pada pukul 3 pagi hari Sabtu lepas, katanya dia ke bilik air untuk buang air. Keluar dari bilik air dalam keadaan merangkak. Kata mereka rahimnya pecah. Ya Allah, tentu sakitnya bukan kepalang. Satu rasa sakit yang aku tidak akan tahu bagaimana peritnya. Dia mengalami pendarahan yang banyak. Bayinya terselamat, sekarang ini di dalam inkubator.
انالله واناالية راجعون
Rasa sebak sebentar. Akan kuhadiahkan A-Fatihah dan Yaa Siin setakat aku mampu.
Aku sendiri sudah lebih sepuluh hari terkena selesema. Masih belum baik betul. Entah kenapa, kali ini begitu lama untuk sembuh. Selalunya dua tiga hari aku sudah sembuh. Sampai hari ini kepalaku masih berdenyut-denyut di sekitar tulang hidung dan soket mataku. Sehingga aku merasakan, ubat-ubat yang kuambil bukannya menyembuhkan, malah memendam penyakitku itu daripada terzahir. Oleh itu selepas seketika kucuba bertahan tanpa ubat. Lalu hidungku pula sumbat akibat hingus yang begitu banyak terkumpul dalam rongga hidung. Malam-malam tidurku terganggu akibat salur nafasku tersekat.
Sampailah hari Selasa lepas, hingus yang kuhembus bercampur darah. Agak banyak. Barulah aku berjumpa doktor. Belum sempat aku beritahu, doktor sudah bertanya, berdarah tak ? Baru lega rasanya mendengar penjelasan doktor. Sekarang tidak berdarah lagi. Tapi hingus tetap ada, begitu pekat dan merengsakan hariku. Doktor beri satu ubat cecair yang aku perlu titiskan ke dalam hidung. Entah apa namanya tidak pula ditulis pada botolnya.
Semasa tubuhku menjadi begitu lemah, macam-macam fikiran timbul. Apakah aku terkena selesema burung, selesema babi ? Apakah aku akan mati ? Semua itu bermain-main dalam otakku.
Sebaiknya kalau kita ingat mati itu hampir, kita cuba perbaiki diri kita semampu mungkin. Kita perbetulkan apa yang silap. Kita perelok hubungan sesama manusia. Sebaik-baik ingatan terhadap mati adalah bahawa kita membuat persediaan seolah-olah kita akan mati sebentar lagi. Alangkah bagus kalau kita mati sehelai sepinggang, tanpa dosa yang kita heret bersama.
deja vu
05 Dec 2011 2 Comments
Been away almost two years.. and missed this ground. I am back like a prodigal daughter .. hopefully for good. Just read my old writings and couldn’t help feeling I must have improved a lot in my now dead blog. I must write more ..
Setimbun kerja yang tak siap-siap..
09 Apr 2010 1 Comment
Dalam diri setiap kita, mesti ada sifat malas kan ? Tak sikit banyak. Tak banyak sikit. Mesti ada sifat suka bertangguh-tangguh kan ? Terkadang aku rancang buat hujahan awal-awal. Tapi creativity tak mai-mai maka bertangguh lama. Dah dekat deadline baru tergedik-gedik nak baca baik fail, teliti dokumen, cari idea-idea maut.. selalu cenggitu kan ? Tapi banyak hujahan aku yang buat menang kes punya memang disediakan semasa aku tengah-tengah pressure. Masa tu lah baru nampak point itu ini. Memang perangai buruk …
Fail aku bukan banyak mana pun. Ada lah lebih kurang 20 fail lebih. But the number is increasing very fast nowadays. Kalau betul-betul manage time dengan baik, memang boleh buat cantik-cantik. Insya Allah, boleh buat kot…tak boleh tamak. Apa yang ada, buat betul-betul.
Seronok tau kerja sendiri. Ia mencabar. Teramat mencabar. Dulu kerja dengan orang lain caranya. Tapi pengalaman dan technical know-how masa kerja dengan orang dulu tu penting. Yang kini jadi hak exclusive aku. He he..
Semasa aku baru join kak aku dulu, tak de sebijik fail pun. Masa tu kerja tak banyak, aku jadi tension sebab tak de kerja nak buat. Dulu masa kerja dengan orang, dah biasa kerja banyak bertimbun-timbun. Melompat-lompat dan berlari dalam ofis. Bila tak dak gheja nak buat jadi mati kutu semacam. Masa tu aku lecture part time dekat 2 universities. Dah terkejar nak sediakan lecture notes dan check assignment budak pulak ! Alhamdulillah lepas tu, kerja ofis pun masuk sikit demi sikit. Tak mau lagi dah lecture-lecture ni.. seronok tapi penat, tak kuasa badan I ni…
Teringat cerita Mak, dulu masa Ayah mula-mula buka bengkel basikalnya, tak banyak basikal untuk dibaiki. Jadi Ayah masuk hutan pi tebang pokok setui dan buat terompah kayu untuk dijual. Ayah juga beli petrol dr Pendang atau Kota Sarang Semut dan jual kat orang kampung. Masa dulu zaman takdak letrik Ayah beli charger bateri basah (masa tu org guna untuk bekalan elektrik kat rumah) dan ambil upah mengecas bateri. Aku harap sifat Ayah yang itu ada dalam diri aku. Tak banyak, sikit.
Sekarang ni, selepas dua tahun berdiri atas kaki sendiri, pakai nama sendiri, aku sudah nampak prospek untuk terus ke hadapan. Alhamdulillah Allah telah mendorong aku memilih apa yang telah aku pilih selama ini. Hidup ini sangat indah bila kita menghargai setiap pemberianNya kepada kita. Semoga Allah limpahkan rahmatnya atas kakak aku juga yang telah berjuang secara solo dengan gagah beraninya selama ini.
Hidup menjadi bererti bila ada cabaran-cabaran untuk diharungi. Bila ada lagi kemuncak baru untuk ditawan.
Morning Post
05 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
I briskwalked 6 rounds in 30 minutes this morning. Now feeling good. Will take my bath after finishing this post.
On last Friday I was at Selayang Court. Obtained OIT. Finished my matter around 9.09 am. Won’t proceed with the papers until client pays.
alas my you do me wrong
to cast me off discourteously
the Social Contract & the communal arrangement of our forefathers
02 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
This is my take on the social contract, triggered by one article I read yesterday.
I was introduced to the term “social contract” by my lecturer Pak Brahim Lamat in his Jurisprudence classes and Law & Development classes.
From what I understand, there are only two parties to this contract ie the people (the citizens of a country, the rakyat) and the government. It is an English concept , propounded by one jurist by the name of Hobbes. The said contract imposes obligation to the government to protect the people’s civil liberties and rights in consideration for vast powers/authorities/mandate given by the people to the government to govern the state.
I still remember Pak Brahim used to say that the Malays of the Nusantara also had our version of the social contract in the Hobbesian sense. According to Pak Brahim, (I found out later that he was referring to the Second Story of the Sejarah Melayu) what transpired between Demang Lebar Daun and Sang Sapurba in the chronicle amounted to the Malay’s social contract. Under the contract, the rakyat may withdraw its vesting of powers to the raja/goverment if the rakyat is not happy with how the raja/government exercises its powers.
And of course in the modern democratic setting, we have to redefine who are the rakyats and who are the rajas.
I will try to enclose the wordings of the covenant here later.
Recently there was an issue whether the Federal Constitution or any part of it forms a “social contract”. According to many it is. I beg to differ. I am inclined to preserve the meaning of the term “social contract” as I learned it in class. The Federal Constitution 0f 1957 is the communal arrangement between major races of Tanah melayu then, yes ! But to call it the social contract, no I won’t refer to it as such. The term “social contract” has been there for a long long time, let us not give a new dimension or our own meaning to it. Why don’t we call it (the Federal Constitution or any special Articles in it) a Communal Arrangement instead ?
This communal arrangement of the Federal Constitution of 1957 is so sacred I will uphold it no matter what. We live by the spirit of the reason behind the give-and-take between our forefathers more than 52 years ago.
I intend to add/rewrite certain part of this article, kalau ada masa.
Die Today
31 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
Semua yang hidup pasti merasai mati.
Every soul must taste of death
Sunday Post
28 Mar 2010 1 Comment
Katakan anda telah membuat pembayaran untuk pergi mengerjakan umrah kepada sebuah syarikat Melayu, XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd.
Dipendekkan cerita, syarikat tersebut telah songlap duit anda, dan niat suci anda untuk mengerjakan umrah di tanah suci hancus berkecais. Hati anda juga sakit teramat-amat bila staf-staf di syarikat itu asyik tangguh dan berdolak-dalik untuk kembalikan duit anda.
Ingat, bayaran telah dibuat kepada agensi itu, sebuah syarikat sendirian berhad. Resit dikeluarkan oleh syarikat itu XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd.
Bila anda menyaman dan dapatkan penghakiman, anda kena namakan XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd sebagai Defendan, yang kemudiannya jadi Penghutang Penghakiman, walaupun anda kenal baik dengan pengarah-pengarah celaka XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd yang telah joli duit anda tak ingat itu duit orang nak pi Mekah. Itu adalah protection yang company law dah bagi turun-temurun bagi pengarah-pengarah syarikat. Dah dapat penghakiman pun, duit anda tak jugak dapat-dapat balik. Duit dah banyak bayar kat lawyer.
Sebab sakit hati anda pada pengarah-pengarah syarikat itu yang anda nampak masih ke hulu ke hilir, anda tanya lawyer anda apa option yang anda ada. Lawyer anda kata lebih kurang macam ni …
- Anda boleh gulungkan syarikat tu, tapi last sekali anda mungkin tak dapat satu sen pun jugak, hanya kepuasan mempunah-jahanamkan syarikat itu dari mukabumi ini.
- Satu cara lagi keluarkan saman penghutang penghakiman terhadap XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd tapi executekan penghakiman ke atas pengarah-pengarah syarikat. Kalau pengarah tak nak hadir ke mahkamah dia boleh dia boleh dipenjarakan (walaupun kosnya anda yang tanggung). Ingat pengarah berkenaan datang untuk beritahu keupayaan syarikat untuk lunaskan hutang. Dia tidak bertanggungan secara peribadi untuk lunaskan hutang itu…Aduhh..Last sekali anda tak dapat satu sen pun jugak.
- Boleh juga pi sita dan lelong barang-barang syarikat tapi make sure itu semua barang syarikat sahaja dan bukannya barangan orang lain punya hak. Susah tu kan ?
In summary memang susah nak dapat balik duit anda tu.
Penyelesaian luar mahkamah hanya boleh dicapai dalam kes di mana Defendan punya conscience dan prihatin kemanusiaan yang tinggi. Kalau tak bye bye je lah.
Kalau awal-awal dia bagi nama syarikat dia tu XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd kan senang ? Taklah anda pun terhemoi-hemoi nak tempah package kat situ. Ye tak ?
let the pictures do the talking
28 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
I spent one night with the kids before they checked out on last Sunday.
My own, since my first entry at the blogspot.
Hotel room vacation is not for me !
New Look
24 Mar 2010 1 Comment
in 2010
I change my blog theme like I change dress. Hopefully this theme and its header are here to stay for some time he he he… Boring pakai baju yang sama tiap-tiap hari… mesti nak tukar-tukar.
my own, pretty in red
You can say that this blog does not concern so much of its contents. I write craps. Craps as they are, they are therapeutic nonetheless. Probably I should make an effort to write something of quality. I will try, I will try hu hu hu…
Art Harun writes beautifully and admirably, but the contents of his writing saddens me. I envy his writing talent as much as I wonder why he makes use of that God-given talent to write what he wrote. It’s freedom of expression my dear…lantak lah dia nak tulis apa pun. Lantaklah dia nak percaya apa pun.
I have taken out all links to political blogs that I frequent. Not sure why, dah penat kot baca politics stuff. Bukannya I boleh ubah senario politik Malaysia pun. Nak faham je. Semakin semak fikiran adalah.
Submission utk Kak Fadilah mesti siapkan hari ni jugak. Awatlah slow sangat hari ni. My idea-idea creative nak goreng tak mai-mai.
Perut dah lapar, nak gi makan. One article on MCA is brewing in my dashboard. Tak publish-publish sebab kualitinya kualiti tandas. By Saturday I mesti dah publish itu artikel.
Jari-jemari Hijau
16 Mar 2010 2 Comments
bunga ni Mak yang tanam, dalam pasu bawah beranda
Semenjak aku kecil lagi, Mak memang suka tanam bunga. Mak selalunya beli benih pokok bunga di Pekan Rabu, sebuah pasar hari yang diadakan setiap hari Rabu di kampung aku. Ayah pun suka tanam pokok, tapi pokok-pokok buah. Ayah tanam durian rambutan, langsat, manggis, kelapa keliling rumah kami.
Ayah selalu dengkikan pokok-pokok bunga yang Mak tanam. Mana-mana Mak tanam bunga, Ayah akan tempekkan pokok barunya berdekatan. Nanti pokok bunga Mak akan terbantut tumbesarannya. Mak nanti marah-marah dekat Ayah. Ayah kata, pokok bunga tak boleh makan, tapi pokok buah nanti boleh makan buah.
Bila musim kemarau kami tiga beradik bergilir-gilir siram pokok buah yang Ayah tanam dan pokok bunga Mak tanam. Kalau ada yang mati selepas dilanda kemarau teruk, Ayah akan sulam dengan benih pokok yang baru. Hasilnya sekarang kami dapat makan durian, manggis dan rambutan sepuasnya bila tiba musim buah.
Ayah dah sampai boleh jual hasil pokok-pokoknya pada pada orang yang buat permintaan. Aku ingat pasaran mangiis sangat bagus. Tetapi Ayah tidak mahu jual mahal. Aku ingat Ayah hanya benarkan harga RM5.00 2 kilo. Itu pun dah berbaloi dengan usaha Ayah selama ini.
Seingat aku, setiap tahun kami Ayah akan buat doa selamat juadahnya pulut dengan durian. Di Kedah kami menikmati pulut yang ditanak, disimbah dengan santan pekat mentah yang dimasukkan sedikit garam, dan tabur sedikit gula di atasnya. Makan dengan durian. Sedapnya tak tercerita. Semua ni Mak yang sediakan.
Penganan ini kami sediakan juga di dalam rumah kami kini, supaya si kecil- si kecil semuanya tahu sedapnya rasa pulut durian. Walaupun jauh daripada kampung halaman kami tidak mahu mereka terputus daripada budaya pemakanan cara kami dulu-dulu. Walaupun dengan durian yang kami beli di tepi jalan.
Petang-petang bila Mak lapang selepas penat menguruskan kami, Mak masih ada masa dan tenaga membelek pokok-pokok bunganya. Pokok bunga Mak bagus tumbuhnya. Mak juga kenalpasti siapa di kalangan anak-anaknya yang bertangan sejuk. Setiap anak disuruh tanam pokok. Kalau pokok itu hidup dikatakan anak yang menanam pokok itu bertangan sejuk. Maksudnya, kalau menanam pokok, pokok itu hidup. Kalau tidak, dikatakan anak itu, tangannya panas. He he he…
benih bunga ni Cikgu Umi Kalsom yang bagi. Mak jaga sampai hari ni
Mak suka sekali pokok ros. Mak pandai buat keratan tut dan kahwinkan pokok ros. Selepas kahwin pokok ros Mak akan berbunga pelbagai warna. Mak aku memang resourceful orangnya. Reban ayam Mak buat sendiri, sebab kalau suruh Ayah, entah bila nak jadi.
Aku perhatikan Mak memang suka bunga-bunga kecil. Baju-baju Mak pun banyak yang coraknya bunga-bunga kecil. Ni ada dua lagi gambar bunga-bunga kecil yang Mak tanam.
kat bawah beranda jugak
Mak panggil bunga ni kepala lalat
Seri Menanti
15 Mar 2010 2 Comments
On 19th June 2009 I visited the old Istana Seri Menanti, after a Mention at Kuala Pilah Court. A visit I did not plan.
A guide sort of insisted to follow me on my tour inside the palace probably because I was alone. Did I look scared ? I was not scared in the least. I climbed up till the attic, alone. Took a few shots inside there, trying to visualize princes and princesses living their live therein the palace a long time ago.
There was a group of secondary school students, probably on an assignment.
Below are pictures of the exterior of the palace.
Cantik tak gambar-gambar I amek ni ?
10 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
Bésame, bésame mucho,
Como si fuera esta noche la última vez.
Bésame, bésame mucho,
Que tengo miedo a perderte, perderte después.
Quiero tenerte muy cerca,
Mirarme en tus ojos, verte junto a mí.
Piensa que tal vez mañana
Yo ya estaré lejos, muy lejos de tí.
Bésame, bésame mucho,
Como si fuera esta noche la última vez.
Bésame, bésame mucho,
Que tengo miedo a perderte, perderte después
I Missed My Maz
04 Mar 2010 2 Comments
I have been away for a long long time, and am back now. And I missed you my blogs.
Moved office while the Tiger was roaring and flaunting its fearful symmetry.
greensleeves : song of childhood
29 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
Your vows you’ve broken, like my heart,
Oh, why did you so enrapture me?
Now I remain in a world apart
But my heart remains in captivity.
I have been ready at your hand,
To grant whatever you would crave,
I have both wagered life and land,
Your love and good-will for to have.
If you intend thus to disdain,
It does the more enrapture me,
And even so, I still remain
A lover in captivity.
My men were clothed all in green,
And they did ever wait on thee;
All this was gallant to be seen,
And yet thou wouldst not love me.
Thou couldst desire no earthly thing,
but still thou hadst it readily.
Thy music still to play and sing;
And yet thou wouldst not love me.
Well, I will pray to God on high,
that thou my constancy mayst see,
And that yet once before I die,
Thou wilt vouchsafe to love me.
Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell, adieu,
To God I pray to prosper thee,
For I am still thy lover true,
Come once again and love me.
Proud Mary
29 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
Left a good job in the city
Workin’ for the Man every night and day
But I never lost a minute of sleepin’
Worryin’ ’bout the way things might have been
Big wheel keep on turnin’
Proud Mary keep on burnin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river
Cleaned a lot of plates in Memphis
Pumped a lot of tane down in New Orleans
But I never saw the good side of a city
‘Til I hitched a ride on the riverboat queen
If you come down to the River
Bet you’re gonna find some people who live
You don’t have to worry ’cause you have no money
People on the river are happy to give
Yang Sopan Yang Susila
26 Jan 2010 1 Comment
in 2010
Januari hampir ke pengakhirnya. Hari ini 10 Safar. Bagaimana jua kita menghitung, sungguh cepat masa berlari meninggalkan kita. Semenjak tahun baru sudah banyak perubahan yang aku usahakan ke atas diriku. Kesannya begitu positif. Aku kini melihat sisa-sisa kehidupanku ini sebagai peluang yang Allah perlanjutkan buatku membetulkan kesilapan-kesilapan dan pemborosan masa lampau, bertaubat dan memohon keredhaan Allah. Hanya yang tiga itu.
Yang selebihnya aku punya keinginan untuk menulis dengan baik. Aku ingin punya kebolehan untuk menyentuh yang paling dasar daripada sejuta jiwa-jiwa manusia. Atau lebih. Aku ingin menulis apa-apa sahaja yang Allah redha. Yang sopan yang susila.
When You’re in Love with a Beautiful Woman
26 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
in Pink
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
It’s hard
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You know it’s hard
Everybody wants her
Everybody loves her
Everybody wants to take your baby home
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You watch your friends
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
It never ends
You know that it’s crazy
You want to trust her
Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
Maybe it’s just an ego problem
Problem is, Iv’e been fooled before
By fair weathered friends and faint hearted lovers
And everytime it happens
It just convinces me more
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You watch her eyes
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You look for lies
Everybody tempts her
Everybody tells her
She’s the most beautiful woman they know
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You watch your friends
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You watch her eyes
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You keep looking for lies
So I Turn to Books for Solace
21 Jan 2010 1 Comment
in 2010, Books, Uncategorized
This adversity is only temporary. I have set my goals to overcome this adversity realistically and clearly that I see them now as so very possibly achievable. The situation is like paving my escape through a dark narrow tunnel when I already see the light at the end of the tunnel. The only issue is whether I would endure the escape , whether I have the energy to carry on to the end of the tunnel ? 
For the strength that I need, I seek solace in the lettered words of consolation. Shakespeare amazes me with his wonderful quotable on adversity. He must have been put under tremendous adversity to be able to write something as beautiful as that.
Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in every thing.
Beautiful, isn’t it ? Oooops… we’ve got to feel and endure adversity before we can actually appreciate the beauty of what Shakespeare says here. They are not merely beautiful words.
Adversity is a good thing to me. They are trials and tribulations that actually call forth my wisdom, my strength, my creativity, my resourcefulness, my …. macam-macam.
Ralph Parlette found some meaning in this quote also. Adversity becomes an open book to you when you realise how instructive adversity is. That’s why the books in the running brooks…
But long before I discover this beautiful words from Shakespeare I was taught this one hadith when the Prophet Muhammad says
It is miraculous the business of the faithfuls
whenever a good thing is bestowed on them
and they be grateful for it
it becomes a good thing for them
whenever a bad thing is inflicted on them
and they become patient, endure it and persevere it
it too becomes a good thing for them
(my poor translation from the arabic)
So now I ask you does not Shakespeare’s “and good in everything” summarize the Prophet’s hadith above on all fours ?
Yang Hitam Manis
20 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
Don’t look so sad
I know it’s over
But life goes on
And this old world
Will keep on turning
Let’s just be glad
We had some time to spend together
There’s no need to watch the bridges
That we’re burning
Lay your head,
Upon my pillow
Hold your warm and tender body
Close to mine
Hear the whisper of the raindrops
Blowing soft, against the window
And make believe you love me,
One more time,
For the good times
I’ll get along
You’ll find another
And I’ll be here
If you should find,
You ever need me
Don’t say a word
About tomorrow, or forever
There’ll be time enough for sadness
When you leave me
Lay your head
Upon my pillow
Hold your warm and tender body
Close to mine
Hear the whisper of the raindrops
Blowing soft against the window
And make believe you love me
One more time
For the good times
Christianity in books I read
18 Jan 2010 2 Comments
in Books
I read quite a lot of stuff outside my work interests especially when I roll in bed before I actually go to sleep. Once I find a book engaging, I will keep a copy of it with me so that I can read and reread it whenever something revelant to what I read therein pop up. Among books that I have read are M Scott Peck’s The Road Less Traveled, Maxwell Maltz’s Psycho-Cybernetics, Chin-ning Chu’s Do Less Achieve More and most recent one Jean Houston’s a Passion for the Possible. These books are the kind that you actually experience rather than read, because the ideas presented there are very thought-provoking that you automatically connect them to your experiences. These books actually challenge you to test the ideas proposed therein. The books will also give you real exercises for you to practise.
So someone asks :will I find the truth on this shelf ?
I am not a person perfectly apt to discusss Christianity. But it is there in all the books that I read above. Last time when I was a lot younger I encountered the same thing in Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking, I was rather scared that by reading alone, the teaching of Christianity would sap into me without me being aware of it. So, I burned the book.
Now I read the same kind of stuff but with an attitude. The teaching there are not going to get into me. It is possible that I may understand them, but they are not for me. Read it and leave it. I am glad that I embrace and was taught the Furqan first before I venture into the worldly books.
books
I also read Dr Aid Qarni’s Jangan Bersedih, but the approach is really really really different. I read a bit of Dr Tuah Iskandar’s writing in local magazines but am not impressed at all. We muslims have yet to come up with good write up of motivational books encompassing all the modern ideas on psychology. Am I wrong here ? What book I turn to now when I am feeling down, really down ? First and foremost : The Al-Quran. When I am really at the pit of that bottomless abyss, I would open any page at random of that glorious Book and soon I would find the answer that I seek. Always.
2010 Bakal Berbunga Cinta
31 Dec 2009 2 Comments
I am a loving person, so my horoscope says.
This year I want to be 10 times as loving. I want to be more tolerant towards my growing up nieces and nephews. I suppose I should accomodate more time and effort to understand their growing-up emotional needs. Probably read more books related to the subject.
I want to be a better boss to Noli.
To my mum and dad, I want to give more this year, money I mean. And spend more quality time with both of them. And make more phonecalls.
To my dear sis, I choose to be here by your side during these turbulent times. 2008 and 2009 had been rough but we both had made it through. And I see a better year in 2010.
And may I find love in 2010. Aamiin
1Malaysia: Can we be 1 when we are so diverse ?
22 Dec 2009 Leave a Comment
Continuing from my last rambling, the notion of IMalaysia must necessarily imply oneness : one race, one nation, equal treatment ; equality in its most absolute form.
And hey, I found something so very hauntingly in line with what I had in mind when I wrote what I wrote on December 4, 2009. It is what Dr Chandra Muzaffar wrote : on 1Malaysia, ethnicity and the economy. You may want to read it here. Great people think alike , hahh ? Ha ha..
Well, not one hundred percent in line. Dr Chandra’s piece could prove me wrong when I say that the FC’s protection towards the Malays were originally entirely political. Dr C mentioned about the protection to the Malays in form of Malay reserves, business licenses, scholarships (that bears economic impact on the Malays – what are these protections for if not for their economic endeavours ?) I knew that those protection were there from the beginning, but I saw it as entirely political protection. I failed to see that they of course have economic impact.
Another thought now lurks in my head. In a system of government that we consciously adopt for Malaysia today, I say that eventually the politics and power of the nation will be shaped up by those bunch of people who are economically strong. Scary ! How is that possible ? I see corruption as one means how it could be achieved. I see loss of support from the grassroot Malays as another.
flag from here
Where has the headache gone ?
21 Dec 2009 1 Comment
This morning I was feeling jittery and nervous for no valid reason at all. My hands trembled a bit. If this is a symptom of anxiety disorder I would not know. Sometimes I do experience thing like this. There was no external pressure. No client called to hassle me. There was no deadline to meet. But something at the back of my head was worrying me I am sure. And this worry must have been self-induced.
Now after finishing my second bill for the day, the anxiety has gone . I fell happy. Now wondering, where has the headache gone?
To Cikgu, if you are reading this, let it be known that I have been lazy bloggingwise since last week and have started a more robust attitude in straightening some things in office since 1st Muharram. Sebab tu lah rasa seram-seram sejuk tu kot. Azam baru 
My Thought
04 Dec 2009 1 Comment
Let us face this fact : Malay privileges as enshrined in the Federal Constitution is the price the non-Malays have to pay for the rights and protection of common nationality they have gained, which notion is a great loss to the Malays who earlier enjoyed exclusive citizenship on this glorious land.
If you find Malay privileges difficult to accept, try history. To understand the reasoning behind the provisions of the Federal Constitution, in is inevitable that we go back to the historical antecedents and the original intention of the framers of the Federal Constitution; ie the Reid Commission 1956 consisting of Lord Reid (Chairman), Sir Ivor Jennings, Sir William McKell B Malik (India) and Justice Abdul Hamid (Pakistan).
I have a feeling that the inclusion of the provisions of the Malay privileges as envisaged by the Reid Commission was originally entirely for political reasons. There was no consideration as to racial economic segregation whatsoever already prevalent during that time. The inclusion was merely to pacify the Malays for the deep wound the British had caused in conferring rights and liberties of citizenship to the non-Malays.
Therefore the provisions and notion of Malay privileges in its original form was entirely political. The commission in its wisdom had never foreseen that the entire sacred document would fail to stop the economic unrest within the plural society which had already started to build then.
The next time I pen down my thought under this category I am going to propose to you that whatever effort you make to achieve national integration has to be based on everyone’s understanding and acceptance of what I propose in the first paragraph herein.
01 Dec 2009 6 Comments
steadfast means not succumbing ....
Dear Amanuensis
29 Nov 2009 Leave a Comment
If I could always be an inspiration
to you
albeit for adverse and hostile notions
I would, still
’cause you inspire me delightfully
by your words
harsh or otherwise
Lelaki Akhir Zaman
28 Nov 2009 5 Comments
Bagaimana harus aku mengolah kebencian ini dengan perkataan. Tentang seorang lelaki yang paling-paling aku benci. Yang di dalam mindaku ini, aku telah membunuhnya berkali-kali. Yang lehernya kupenggal dan kepalanya yang tercerai kucampak kepada anjing. Dan anjing sekalipun rasa jijik lalu menjauh geli untuk menjamah. Atau lagi senang kalau kucampak sahaja ke dalam longkang. Biar dibawa air longkang yang kotor.
Lelaki sepertinya melukut jauh lebih mulia jika dibanding. Kalau tiada tidak mengurangi malah lebih beroleh keamanan.
Lelaki-lelaki yang sepertinya tidak layak bergelar suami, apa lagi membenihkan zuriat.
Aku benci.
To a Beautiful Soul
25 Nov 2009 2 Comments
Here is to a beautiful soul, as stolen from this garden
I am glad I found you
Or rather
We found each other
Seremban Rains Purple Rain
18 Nov 2009 2 Comments
Seremban rains purple rain today. Betull…, check it out …
Current Issues
16 Nov 2009 2 Comments
in PTD
(This post is meant to be updated daily- gotto start from scratch, and time is running)
Got to be prepared :-
1. Isu PPSMI; bencinya
2. Isu SSS vs vernacular education;
3. Isu HINI etc;
4. Isu Rotan Kartika Sari;
5. Apa lagi ekk… yang current-current ?
A Bleak Monday
16 Nov 2009 Leave a Comment
in Pink
Updated at 02.47pm
Well, on a less bleak Monday afternoon – i jot down the answer to the biiig question.
I am happy thay your eyelids did not flicker. Hmmm…
I am happy that I did a mistake or two, just to learn your reactions to them and hence to understand you better. I am happy and contented despite the unanswered mystery looming ahead. For the moment I am just happy to be guided by own intuition.
Bleeding Heart, Discarded Lies..
12 Nov 2009 Leave a Comment
in Pink
My heart bleeds, torn by your lies...
O, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive.
In order to formulate a lie, the brain needs to first stop itself from telling the truth and then generates deception. In doing that I wonder if your eyelids would flicker. So next time we are together I am going to be in full control. I am going to look straight at your eyes hmmm…
picture of bleeding heart from here
Updated November 23rd, 2009
Another serendipity ? This morning when I was exercising, musicfm aired the motivation talk by Dr Tuah. He said when a person is lying the nose would enlarge because of some reaction in the body. So while lying the liar would constantly touch his nose. A haaa…
It’s Up To You
06 Nov 2009 3 Comments
It’s Up To You Lyrics
Artist :Barbra Streisand
You can say what you got to say
Wherever you go, baby
I will find a way
I’m ready to go anywhere you choose
It’s up to you
You decide if I live or die
Wherever you go, baby
So will I
I’m ready to accept your point of view
It’s up to you
And there’s something about that way
You smile
Every touch leaves me helpless
Every moment drives me wild
I never saw the cause that made
You lie
I never said goodbye…inside
You can go where you got to go
Wherever you lead, baby
I will follow
I’m ready to be all you want me to
It’s up to you
And I walk in the dark and the
Candle burns
Out of place, your face is missing
Come the day that you return
My love on hold
This moment stops in time
The reason and the rhyme
Inside
You can go where you got to go
Where you lead, baby
I will follow
I’m ready to be all you want me to
It’s up to you
copied from here
ditambah pada November 9, 2009
Here is something to fight this growing alien feeling within me.
The lyrics above depicts perfectly how foolish “a woman in love” can be. Love is an act; something like that. It is not a feeling. M Scott Peck says this. Love as in feelings is only illusory. Love is something to act upon. It is not a feeling that engulfes you, overwhelms you till you get suffocated in surrender and submission. Cheee wah !! Plasapah baru.
Over the years Barbra Streisand has gotten worse from bad in the lesson on love. See how helpless and confused she was in the song below.
BARBARA STREISAND
WOMAN IN LOVE – lyrics
Life is a moment in space, when the dream is gone it’s a lonelier place
I kiss the morning goodbye, but down inside you know we never know whyThe road is narrow and long, when eyes meet eyes and the feeling is strong
I turn away from the wall, I stumble and fall but I give you it allI am a woman in love
And I’d do anything
To get you into my world
And hold you within
It’s a right I defend
Over and over again
What do I doWith you eternally mine, in love there is no measure of time
We planned it all at the start, that you and I live in each other’s hearts
We may be oceans away, you feel my love, I hear what you say
No truth is ever a lie, I stumble and fall, but I give you it allI am a woman in love
And I’d do anything
To get you into my world
And hold you within
It’s a right I defend
Over and over again
What do I doI am a woman in love
And I’m talking to you
I know how you feel
What a woman can do
It’s a right I defend over and over againI am a woman in love
And I’d do anything
To get you into my world
And hold you within
It’s a right I defend
Over and over again
What do I do
copied from here
See what I mean ?
A journey into a zone incognito
28 Oct 2009 4 Comments
in Pink
I have embarked
on a journey into a zone incognito
maybe there is light at the end
or only darkness
only Allah knows
but He will guide me
for He listens to all the prayers
(akan disambung and/or dirombak
bila mood datang
datanglah moodku sayang)
Diubah pada 29/10/2009
I have embarked
on a journey into a zone incognito
maybe there is light at the end
or only darkness
only Allah knows
but He will guide me
for He listens to all the prayers
there are times now
when this feeling so engulfing
at times it subsides
and he disappears into oblivion
that I can live like I do now
so now what ?
Counting the good signs
13 Oct 2009 1 Comment
Let us count good signs that UMNO would improve in the upcoming GE 13th :-
1. overwhelming win at Bagan Pinang bye-election 11-10-2009; a lot has been said. Despite that I read it as a good sign. Do read Sakmongkol’s piece here, Lawyer Kampung’s here . Read here also.
2. amendment to UMNO constitution aimed at curbing money politics.The party is moving to enlarge the voting base from 2,500 delegates to 146,500 members. The rationale is that by doing so, it becomes much harder to bribe such a huge number of voters; quoted verbatim from here. One UMNO disciplinary board member however does not think it good enough read here
3. Opposition infantility ; read Art Harun’s suggestion that Bagan Pinang could be the start of demise of Pakatan here
Top in my wish list would be covenants by UMNO top leaders that they will fight corruption, FROM THEIR OWN MOUTHS CLEARLY AND LOUDLY
Let us hope there are more good signs to keep me counting on…
I’ll Never Fall in Love Again
13 Oct 2009 Leave a Comment
I’ll Never Fall in Love Again
(Carpenters’) 
pic from here
(here to remind you, here to remind you,
Here to remind you, here to remind you)
What do you get when you fall in love
A girl with a pin to burst your bubble
That’s what you get for all your trouble
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
What do you get when you kiss a guy
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, he’ll never phone you
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
Don’t tell me what it’s all about
’cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I’m here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain
and sorrow
So far at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
Don’t tell me what it’s all about
’cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I’m have here to remind you
Here to remind you, here to remind you
Toh! here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So, far at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
The End of the World
10 Sep 2009 Leave a Comment
Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world,
`cause you don't love me anymore?
Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love.
I wake up in the morning and I wonder why
ev'rything's the same as it was.
I can't understand, no I can't understand, how life
goes on the way it does!
Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said good-bye.
Pessimism glorified. Don’t know who did the original of the above.
Beyond Ramadhan
02 Sep 2009 Leave a Comment
Ramadhan is not about good food. Ramadhan is not about Bazaar Ramadhans. Ramadhan is not about delightful cookies. Ramadhan is not about fireworks and meriam buluhs he he…Ramadhan is not about baju rayas and kasut rayas.
Ramadhan is also not about ibadat sunnat 24 jam while the more important principles of Islam are tossed to the drain.
Be grateful !
17 Aug 2009 Leave a Comment
in Pink
You’ve got to believe me, when one day you decide to do away with God’s gift upon you, God will take it away from you and give it to another person more in need of it.
You do away with it when you cease to be grateful of its existence. You take it for granted. You stop taking care of it. 
The gift may be in the form of children or a business opportunity or a car or a roof above you head.
So dear, start counting God’s grace on you.
Di Puncak Gunung
13 Aug 2009 Leave a Comment
Udara gunung yang segar rasa sarat bila dihela. Sebentar nanti Nenek Kebayan akan menjelma lagi. Katanya, dia akan sampaikan syarat-syarat yang akan ditetapkan oleh sang puteri gunung. Aku dan mereka yang lain menunggu dengan sabar.
Tidak lama selepas itu muncullah Nenek Kebayan dari celah banir pokok besar itu…
Nenek Kebayan : He he he ……
Boleh tahan juga seringai wajah Nenek Kebayan itu. Walaupun pakaiannya compang-camping, bau harum kurasakan menusuk segenap jengkal dan depa belantara itu. Satu perasaan aneh menyelinap ke seluruh tubuhku. Satu perasaan seolah aku sedang berdepan dengan seorang wanita cantik penuh berahi… bukannya nenek kebayan yang kerepot yang sudah putus penyakit bulannya.
Aku : Err… Sudahkah Nenek dapat sebarang pesan dari Tuan Puteri ?
Nenek Kebayan : Ehem ….. cucu. Ehemm …. (dia cakap dengan suara terteran-teran sebijik macam Nasir Bilal Khan dalam semua lakonannya, demikian pendapat anak saudaraku Laula, 8 tahun)
Aku menunggu dengan sabar apa yang akan diperkatakan oleh Nenek Kebayan seterusnya.
Pantun Orang Gundah II
09 Jul 2009 Leave a Comment
Halia itu tanam-tanaman
Ke barat juga akan tumbuhnya
Dunia ini pinjam-pinjaman
Ke akhirat juga akan sungguhnya
Satu tangan bilangan lima
Dua tangan bilangan sepuluh
Nenek tanam biji delima
Mengapa pula peria yang tumbuh
Anak rusa nani
Baru kembang ekor
Apa dosa kami
Lalu tidak tegur
Pantun Orang Gundah
25 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
Tenang-tenang air di laut
Sampan kolek mudik ke tanjung
Hati terkenang mulut tersebut
Budi yang baik rasa nak junjung
Nyiur gading puncak mahligai
Sayang ketupat berisi inti
Hancur daging tulang berkecai
Belum dapat belum berhenti
Pulau Pandan jauh ke tengah
Gunung Daik bercabang tiga
Hancur badan dikandung tanah
Budi yang baik dikenang juga
Kalau ada sumur di ladang
Boleh kita menumpang mandi
Kalau ada umur yang panjang
Boleh kita berjumpa lagi
Kalau ada jarum yang patah
Baiklah disimpan di dalam peti
Kalau ada ada kata yang salah
Simpan sahaja di dalam hati
Equality? Divine…
12 Jun 2009 2 Comments
Had Allah wanted, He could have created us all one race. One nation, one tribe therefore one language therefore one culture etc etc. Hence racially equals. Or better still, the word “race” would cease to have meaning.
But had He ? No, He had not. He had intended it from the very beginning that we should be diverse.
He says
O mankind ! We have created you from a male and a female, and have made you nations and tribes that you may know one another. Verily the noblest of you in the sight of Allah is the best in conduct.
Al-Hujurat : 13
So there’s a purpose behind this diversity. Not so that we learn to love each other, nor so that we get to despise each other BUT so that we learn to know each other.
Despite the diversity , Allah goes on to say that we are all equals. No one race is superior to any other. As the best among us are the ones the best in conduct. The most righteous among us.
So Allah sees us Mankind as nation-less, race-less, class-less. We on the other hand can only see each other from our racial perspective, and necessarily so, so that we go through the ongoing process of getting to know each other, and in the process learning to understand each other and respect each other.
We humankind are not capable of assuming Allah’s perspective in seeing each other as raceless, nationless like Allah does. Or can we ?
Equality
11 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
-
Equality is one concept so divine in nature. Only God sees us as equals and is able to treat us as equals.
We on the other hand can only strive to impart the sense of fairness vide the notion of equality. And along the way we fumbled and stumbled and erred.
We can only achieve fairness by bearing in mind the notion that we are different, that we are diverse. In achieving justice we would be doomed to failure should we adhere so rigidly to that divine approach.
Let us explore further…
Du’a
09 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
in Pink
Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku ampunkanlah dosa-dosaku dan dosa-dosa kedua orang tuaku. Dan kasihanikah kedua mereka sebagaimana mereka mengasihaniku semasa aku kecil
Ya Tuhan kami, datangkanlah oleh engkau kepada kami di dunia ini kebaikan, dan di akhirat nanti kebaikan, dan peliharalah kami daripada azab neraka
Vision comprehends Him not, but He comprehends all vision
05 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
Did he not find you wandering and He direct you? Did He not find you destitude and He enrich you ?
Surely We created man of the best stature 
Then We reduced him to the lowest of the low
He it is Who created the heavens and the earth in truth. In that day when He says Be ! it is.
One Love Made in Medina
28 May 2009 1 Comment
in Pink
Here is something pink. Something not password-protected.
I am a grown-up child of a happy family. My mother and my father have been happily married for 42 years now. Ironically Mak and Ayah are both children of broken marriages. Both are first-born too.
When I say happy I do not mean that they are happy all the time. Remember Dr Maxwell Maltz’s adopted definition of happiness : happiness is a state of mind in which our thinking is pleasant a good share of the time. There were ups and downs I am sure, like in any other marriages. But they have enjoyed 42 years in each other’s company. Hmmm…
In the case of my mother, my grandmother Tok Tijah Bukit Besar (we have to tag her such because we have two Tok Tijahs, so have to tell which one from the other) married beneath her. A divorce soon followed right after my mother was born. Tok Tijah’s family wanted my mother but my grandfather Tok Wan Chen (his name was Hashim) finally won my mother.
In the case of my father I always suspected that it was my grandfather Tok Wan Bakar’s temperament that split Tok Wan and Tok Tijah (Tok Tijah Singkir, that is) apart. Tok Wan Bakar was known to have such a terrible temper. In the midst of his wrath he could throw a dish of good food to waste, to the ground. From Tok Tijah’s own lips I heard that Tok Wan Bakar passed the message of talak through her father when she was still in confinement after giving birth to Ayah. How sad. This pink shade is turning into blue now…. Let’s move on. See, we cannot be judgemental here. Don’t over-analyze. We should hear both sides.
Perhaps because of the painful life as a child once raised by a single parent, both my mother and my father appreciate married life better. Surely along the way they found wisdom in giving and taking, in forgiving and forgetting, in accommodating each other’s faults and flaws, and in a lot lot more things than I can discern.
Despite all that, Mak and Ayah have always treated their parents with affection and respect. Again, only happy people are capable of this. I still remember every Hari Raya Second Day we had to pay visit to all four sets of Tok Wans and Toks in one day. Four sets ? Because all of them remarried after the divorces.
Another interesting thing here. My mother and my father were childhood neighbours. Their houses were next to each other. Perhaps Ayah had had a good peep on Mak when Mak went to give drink to her cows or went milking the cows near the mengkuang swamp. Perhaps he was looking from the chinese cemetery on the hillock, from between the tombstones. I can almost envision that in my mind. Tok Tijah had preferred a girl from Hampar (I presume Batu Hampar, near Merbok) for Ayah, but Ayah was adamant it was Mak whom he wanted to marry. How sweet ! To know what or whom you want ! How courageous, to go against your parents’ wish and uphold what your heart desires !
Once Mak lost her way when in Madinah. She lost her group and confused the way back to their rented apartments when she and her group went to pray Zuhur prayers at the Prophet’s Mosque. The apartments were only within walking distance.
Then she confused which door of the Mosque she came in from.
Then she confused which side of the Mosque she came in from.
There were so many people. Imagine the crowd during pilgrimage time.
My mother’s only hope was the small bright green sling bag that the group members were required to put on them all the time they were out of the apartments. I shudder at the thought of losing my mother that way. My mother had never been anywhere far on her own.
She found a post office in the vicinity but nobody there could help her. She had no Arabic, nor English. She showed them the address of the apartment but they did not know where it was. Or they just couldn’t be bothered. So not knowing what else to do, she went back to the Mosque, performed her Asar prayer and stayed put near an entrance.
When her group realised that my mother went missing, they told my father. So my father went alone to look for her. Ayah circled the Mosque three times. And still he could not find Mak. And guess what. Mak finally spotted his green sling bag, and then him, in the sea of people ! And they were reunited.
Now were they not made for each other…
Just a few years back, my mother discovered this enterpreneurial trait in her. She started to sew baju kurungs for friends for minimal charges. As she progressed, she discovered market for telekungs. She has been sewing telekungs since.
My father then bought her a heavy-duty sewing machine and said something like this
“nanti bila aku dah tak dak hangpa menjaitlah”
So my father has started to plan how it would be like should my mother survive him.
That is a husband through and through…
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