bila ?
29 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in miscella
hello hello
28 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in a garden full of prayers, menyusur di akar, mind body and soul
Hilang sebentar balik kampung tengok ayah chek yang kakinya luka. Mum has internet connection but it’s so not in a blogging element in a kampung environment. You have many other interests and concerns. Harap ayah akan sembuh seperti sediakala. Rushed back here to take care of my sis who’s also not well, and her 4 kids.
Dapat satu file baru pagi ni.
Dapat satu lagi fail baru lunch time.
Siapakah itu yang dicabar jadi berani ? Tak cukup beranikah aku ini dengan cabaran-cabaran dalam hidupku ini ?
Catatan : Sikap dan pemikiran yang betul buatkan masalah segunung nampak sepongsu. Ilusi yang menyihatkan.
I have been meaning to write about the new tagline, and the pantuns/seloka which I quoted earlier from the same book. But not today. Today is tight.
Thank you for suggesting/putting the gatekeeper there. I said before, it is dangerous blogging with the scantiest know-how.
Love is a many-splendored thing. Betul ke ?
Tentang Cinta yang Datang Perlahan (belum siap)
14 May 2012 3 Comments
Agak janggal kan kalau kamu diajari cinta oleh anak-anak gadismu ? Ia baru terjadi padaku.
Sebetulnya aku sedang mencari satu olahan menarik dan membekas tentang cinta yang seperti itu. Tiba-tiba ditunjukkan padaku sebaris ayat dari sebuah lagu ..
pesan berpesan
11 May 2012 Leave a Comment
in kepustakaan melayu, menyusur di akar
Sebarang kerja baik fikiri
Jangan mengambil sedap sendiri
Hendak mengambil suka yang sehari
Akhirnya menyesal kemudian hari
Alam terkembang jadi guru,
Setitik jadikan laut,
Sekepal jadikan gunung
Betapa keras dilambung gelombang,
kucacak tiang, kulayar juga
seni tak tampak
08 May 2012 Leave a Comment
Gambar ini dihantar ke mailbox aku tanpa diundang, so aku ada hak nak reproducenya kat sini.
Satu masa dulu aku akan sangat bengang kalau tidak boleh memahami satu kerja yang dianggap orang sebagai seni agung. Mona Lisa contohnya. Tak paham langsung apa yang hebatnya pada lukisan Mona Lisa itu. Mungkin sebab aku hanya tengok yang replikanya aje kot. Senyumnya yang penuh enigma ? Tak de enigma langsung. Mataku hanya nampak satu pompuan Italy bermata bengkak dan berdada kembung.
Begitu juga sajak-sajak atau hasil tulisan yang disanjung sebagai karya agung. Apa kamu rasa selepas membaca Hemingway, cerpen pendek terpendek, Indian Camp ? Kamu rasa kebas, sebab tak faham ? Tapi ada orang mengaku faham dan mengangkat darjat karya itu sebagai karya bermutu tinggi.
Contoh lagi, sapa boleh bagi aku tiga (3) sebab kenapa lukisan di atas boleh diletak harga RM28,000 atau lebih ? Coba kau coba.. Kalau orang nak jual RM50 pun aku tak nak beli. Begitulah gambaran dan idea di sebalik artikel aku hari ini.
Jom kita cuba tafsir sketsa ini, nak ? takpe, cuba je… jangan marah wahai artisnya. Muka depa yang leper ala duit syiling dengan hidung yang tiba-tiba sahaja terunjur dari permukaan wajah bersatah rata itu menggambarkan bahawa depa ini bukan manusia, tapi makhluk asing. Ataupun depa ni dah mutated. Ekspresi pada wajah wanita dan lelaki dewasa itu dengan rambut yang terangkat tanpa kesan-kesan puputan angin yang nyata, dan warna kulit wajah yang memerah menunjukkan depa ini sedang gasping for fresh air after a long and passionate kiss and embrace. Betul tak ? And don’t you agree for the sake of the child who suddenly pops up from nowhere, they both have to maintain an air of composedness ? Hence the relatively loose grip of the flowers by the woman’s hands. Camner, ok tak percubaanku ini ?
I believe in succinct expression of ideas. I hate having to guess at the idea embedded in the string of words chosen by the writer. Same goes for artwork. If there is beauty, you’ve got to express it, without reservation.
03 May 2012 Leave a Comment
Semangat diperbaharui ..
a garden full of prayers answered..
ini aku
and one more for the soul ..
Posting Spontan
30 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
Adakah kamu manusia kelam-kabut sepertiku? Baru sebentar tadi, aku tetiber dicengkam cemas sampai ke usus. Berlakulah lompatan-lompatan gimrama tunggang-terbalik dalam minda. Walaupun berlaku hanya dalam minda, tenaga yang dipakai buat aku letih.
Aku ada Sebutan satu kes pada 2/5/2012. Hari ni memang tak de case. Mukasurat diary aku minggu ni memang dah termaktub dalam mindaku sejak semalam lagi. Tapi tetiber tadi, entah macam mana, aku tersangka Sebutan tu hari ini. Aku kelam-kabut, sebab hari ni pakai baju warna hijau. Mana boleh masuk Court. Siap talipon court staff untuk pastikan kes adalah petang. Lepas tu Court confirm memang kes jenis tu, pada sesi petang. Tapi hari ni mana ada kes ? Tu pun, aku masih tak terperasan lagi yang aku silap hari bulan.
Selepas gelabah giler, jumpa balik minit utk kes tu, baru sedar, rupanya aku silap haribulan.
Pernah tak kes-kes cenggini terjadi kat ngkorang ?
TLT Weekly – Week 17
29 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
1. Bersih 3.0
You can’t argue the Topic of the Week is Bersih 3.0 but TLT has been too temporarily mentally-retarded to digest the issues within Bersih 3.0 and in connection with Bersih 2.0. Bersih 3.0 rally went on on 28th April (Saturday) despite the Court’s order.
JMD has done a helpful piece, as usual, so go read it at his blog. Thank you JMD. Can’t link to his, for I have no balls yet.
I wish somebody bludgeon someone’s head till it crack to shake some sense into it. By the way are they trying to sound smart sporting those 2.0, 3.0 extensions? Why is the need to be exact to the tenth decimal point ? As if there’s gonna be a Bersih 4.0009 … apa la
2. The Hottest Minister
Isu menteri ini ditenggelamkan oleh panasnya isu Bersih 3.0. Direkodkan juga sebab ia satu lagi manifestasi kalau takde angin masa ‘kan pokok bergoyang – teori lelaki tua gatal ada duit lebih sikit memang suka cari penyakit – masa ‘kan tempua bersarang rendah. Baca kat sini dan pautan-pautan di sini.
3. Kurang ajar punya orang !
Cuba kamu baca article ini. Aku katakan kalau kamu sayangkan negara kamu, kamu takkan buat kenyataan macam ini :
“Ambiga said today that Bersih also wants the Election Commission (EC) to resign and international observers to be present at the next polls.”
Kepala hotak dia ni sama ja dengan Anwar. Sikit-sikit kedutaan luar, sikit-sikit sokongan kerajaan luar. Pergi mampus dengan sokongan negara luar. Macam ni nak jadi pemimpin ? Belum apa-apa lagi, dah habis semua nak digadainya.
4. New Word : artisanal bread
Artisanal bread is freshly-baked handcrafted bread. Saw the word first time in this article . I think it is mere euphemism of the word home-made bread. In my childhood we would call it” roti mengali” (actual word is ‘roti benggali’) because they were baked by benggali, or keling (muslim indians). A confused lot we were…
5. It’s a Skewed World
We are way too lavish in our appreciation as per here.
6. Ala ciannyer budak kecik, ikan puyu lompat masuk mulut
Read this news.
Buku : Lintasan Politik Malaysia
27 Apr 2012 4 Comments
in Books, sejarah politik
Original unfinished version posted on April 16th.
Terserempak satu buku lama pada 15 April. Terus pinjam. Tajuknya, Lintasan Politik Malaysia, oleh Amaluddin Darus (AD).
Sebelum itu, maklumat tentang penulis telah dimaktubkan di Wikipedia; di sini. Rupanya elok juga, kan ?
Secara ringkasnya, adalah seperti berikut :
- AD adalah seorang ahli politik dari parti PAS, yang bergiat sekitar 1952- 1974;
- Beliau instrumental dalam penubuhan PAS di Kelantan.
- Beliau adalah Ahli Dewan Negara selama 15 tahun (1959-1974), bagi negeri Kelantan.
- Beliau juga kemudiannya giat menulis beberapa buku politik dan isu-isu dalam agama;
- Lahir pada 26 Disember 1927. Membesar di Kulim, Kedah; a study on him by UKM post-graduates’ article, I am not allowed to link to the site.
- TLT pertama kali terjumpa nama AD agaknya sekitar 1984 bila buku AD “Pintu Langit Mula Dibuka” diiklankan dalam satu majalah yang TLT baca. Tak ingat majalah apa, mungkinkah Panji Masyarakat ? Dewan Masyarakat ? Dian ? Mastika ? Aktual ?
Butiran-butiran yang menarik/mungkin penting daripada buku ini :-
-
AD secara sinisnya analogikan lawatan-lawatan pembesar Melayu ke London yang disusun oleh Inggeris kepada peristiwa Israk dan Mikraj di mana Allah perjalankan Muhammad (saw) ke Sidratul Muntaha supaya Allah perlihatkan kebesaran-kebesaranNya kepada Muhammad (saw).
-
Buku ini menawarkan butiran sejarah pembentukan Persekutuan Malaya semenjak 1946 daripada sudut pandangan AD.
-
PAS lahir (1951, di dalam kawasan Puluu Pinang you, of all places) ketika pecah-belah antara rakyat Malaya. Datuk Onn Jaafar yang banyak jasanya itu telah dicemuh apabila menubuhkan IMP yang menyatukan semua kaum, dan Inggeris pula cuba sedaya upaya supaya rakyat pecah-belah dan senang diperintah.
-
Baca tentang ideologi dan pendirian PAS daripada seorang lama PAS dalam Bab 6 buku ini.
-
AD pernah keluar daripada PAS (1977) bila Tun Razak keluarkan PAS daripada BN. Pas pernah dipelawa menyertai BN pada pilihanraya 1974;
- Pemisahan Singapura dan Peristiwa 13 Mei 1969; Menurut AD mengeluarkan Singapura satu kesilapan, peristiwa 13 Mei pula disebabkan suasana tegang bermula daripada perarakan pada 11 Mei dan 12 Mei dianjurkan PKM. (tally dengan JMD’s notes).
- Pra-Merdeka, golongan Melayu terbahagi kepada tiga ; golongan agama (golongan tua?), golongan nasionalis yang cenderung sosialis (komunisme?) dan golongan liberalisme terapan Inggeris yang cenderung sekularisme.
- Ponder this point; menurut AD nasionalisme dipengaruhi oleh pelarian-pelarian politik dari Indonesia setelah gagal pemberontakan Komunis Indonesia pada 1927 (m/surat 13-14). Ingat lagi dalam Rimba Harapan (versi yang aku baca adalah “Jungle of Hope” edisi budak-budak sekolah, sebab versi asal sampai la ni pun tak pernah jumpa) golongan muda yang disertai watak Zaidi ada mendengar ceramah-ceramah agama daripada ustaz-ustaz Indonesia yang kejap-kejap hilang. (mungkinkah maksud Keris Mas, pelarian Indonesia yang sama ? Jawap ko, jawab). Lepas tu pulak, AD juga ada menyebut Dr Burhanuddin Helmy pernah dituduh menyertai PKM. Lepas tu PAS kalah teruk pada pilihanraya berkenaan. Maksud aku, kalau ini semua benar, aku ingin tahu bagaimana penglibatan orang-orang agama seperti Mat Indra (jika betul), yang disensasikan oleh Mat Sabu yang bongok itu sedikit masa dulu, dalam perjuangan komunis itu.
TLT Weekly – Week 16
22 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in miscella
1. A New Turning Point
The Dewan Rakyat has effected the following, in the past few days :-
- abolished the allegedly draconian Internal Security Act 1960 (ISA) and passed a new bill to replace the ISA ie the Security Offences Special Measures Bill 2012;
- amended the Printing Presses and Publications Act to take away the absolute and unquestionable discretion of the Home Minister to refuse suspense or revoke a newpapers’ permit, and to give automatic right to challenge and be heard any decision by the Home Minister with regard to their publication permit ; read also a veteran journalist’s view Datuk A Kadir on this point;
- amended the UUCA to give greater freedom to undergraduates to participate in party politics and express their political affiliation;
Read about them here , and here. Ambiga is however sceptic, read here.
2. Apostacy among Malays
I thought a muslim lawyer would not do it. Here’s one who proved me wrong. Read about it here. In Penang, a lawyer Wan Faridulhadi Mohd Yusoff helped two Malay siblings file an application for a declaration that they both were no longer muslims. The application was filed in 2010.
3. Back to Taking it to the Streets
Long live public protests ! It’s sort of fashionable these days, with the young people. Latest : University Students camped at Dataran Merdeka to protest against PTPTN. Obviously the Opposition is testing the market here, which means more headache to Najib’s government. It is typical of Anwar to take it to the streets. In 1974 he rallied the Baling people’s poverty issue. He was detained under the ISA and then invited by Dr M to join his Cabinet of Ministers. Now that he’s no longer with the powers that be, he’s taking things back to the streets.
Pic from SAA’a blog
3. Am I Blur, or am I Blur ?
In my view, the original political psyche of the Chinese post-1969 was “kerja kuat, hidup mewah, jangan komen gomen”. That’s why a good Malay leadership will benefit them economically. But the UMNO goons’ corrupt practices were getting out of the hand. Hence they switched camp. With Malay votes swinging to the same direction, whoaa.. suddenly the Island became theirs. Hence the first taste of the blood. So does it matter now if DAP or MCA or Gerakan is at the helm ? Read Datuk’s recent posting here.
4. Malaysia Spring ?
These kids voicing out their unhappiness towards the government. Read about it here. They call it Malaysia Bangkit.
TLT’s Ten Lately
19 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in miscella
1. Tadi singgah sat kat MPH. Disebabkan dah ikrar takkan beli buku baru lagi tahun ni, aku hanya intai-intai buku. 3 yang melekat :-
- Planet Ponzi ; about how bankers and politicians rob your future (don’t Najib Nazir and Rosmah ring a bell?);
- Aleph by Paulo Coelho; a journey of self-discovery;
- Brida by Paulo Coelho; a spiritual story about a girl wanting to learn magic.
2. (I am finding out who he/she is) Kit Lee’s philosophy : “kerja keras, hidup mewah, tapi jangan komplen tentang gomen”. This philosophy of reticence tally dengan saranan dalam The Science of Getting Rich; you have to thank all the corrupt politicians.
3. Semalam aku fikir sat tentang falsafah Kit Lee ni, masa nak start kereta dengan masa stuck depan Ocean; keadaan sekarang bukanlah teruk manapun. Buat apa nak komplen-komplen sangat. Kita hari ini, dengan kreativiti kita, masih lagi boleh hasilkan sesuatu yang baru, yang novel, untuk dipasarkan. Kalau kau ada idea menarik macam mana nak pasarkan goreng pisang dalam kaedah yang paling menarik menggiurkan, sampai boleh menembusi pasaran antarabangsa, tak de sapa pun boleh menghalang, kan ? Segalanya bergantung kepada kreativiti kita. So buat apa nak komplen vocal-vocal sangat ? Ye tak ? Ingat tak Ainon Mohd tulis dalam bukunya, Ramly Burger itu tak terkesan dek perubahan kuasa politik. Produk dia akan terjual tak kira sapa pun memerintah. Semua orang, tak kira fahaman politik, nak kena makan juga kan ?
4. Cinta tak kenal usia – cinta itu buta. Seorang wanita klien aku, akan berkahwin buat pertama kali di usia 48 tahun, November ini. Seorang lagi tuan haji klien aku berusia 75 tahun yang kematian isteri 2 tahun sudah, pun nak kahwin jugak. Honestly, I think it’s a waste of their precious time, respectively.
5. Eh, baru je berenti jap salam dengan klien my sis. Sempat story pasal jantan tak guna. Dulu percaya 100 %, sekarang 0%. I kata, cerita lama versi baru.
6. Kalau kamu sudah dapat gading bertuah, jangan dilepaskan. Genggam kemas-kemas. Nanti story further ok ?
7. Astaghfirhullah al azim, jangan tindak-tandukmu seolah mengharamkan yang halal.
8. Ada buku baru, ditulis oleh Melayu celup perasan prihatin-Melayu. Nanti I kutuk dia rapat-rapat ok ? Belum habis baca lagi.
9. Ada so-po top blogger yang rajin amat tulis pasal Islam, al-Quran, tapi tidak pernah aku rasa dia mention Hadith dan Rasulullah. Bagaimana ya ? Sebetulnya aku ingin tahu di mana dia tempatkan Rasulullah dan sunnah-sunnahnya dalam pemikirannya itu. Patutkah aku bertanya direct ?
10. Yakinlah takdir kita adalah agenda Allah terindah dan terkhusus untuk kita.
trivia
18 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
Ponder this : that thing that you want so much, God won’t give you unless and until you prepare yourself for it. You’ve got to open the door first thing.
enigma cinta Majaazi
17 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
Di laut lara, cicak tokek kelemasan. Menunggu jawaban permohonan, apakah pemuda emas sesaga gayungnya bersambut ? Atau adakah bergegar bumi ini dinista Arjuna tumpas ? Arrghh.. gila ! Hancur daging tulang bercerai, belum dapat belum berhenti. Alahai butanya nekad di hati. Dilarik-larik awan senja. Tercerna warna emas, bukan dibuat-buat. Jenuh sudah memanjat doa, belum dapat belum berhenti. Siapakah sang cicak tokek yang bertandang di kejauhan malam ? Ada dia bawa bingkisan dari Awang Sulung Kamil ?
At Peace
10 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
Describe ten things about you when you are in a peaceful serene state of mind :-
- All forms of resistance leave my body cells. My body becomes relaxed. Suddenly I am engulfed by a feeling of peaceful submission to the One;
- I feel that my surrounding has expanded. I breathe more deeply and contentedly, savouring every breath;
- I connect to Him. The thought of Him fills the blankness of my mind. I am at ease with Him;
- I accept my life’s destiny and find strength to live it;
- I see myself as capable of handling my life situations and that they are not beyond me. I see my life’s situations as His way to elevate me before the world;
- I cease to be resentful towards those who hurt me. I wish them well;
- I find a hundred and one reasons to be grateful to Him. I am alone but there is a lot of strength in this aloneness;
- I renew the zest to continue my life’s struggle. I just can’t wait to finalize my latest small conquer;
- I will visit this peaceful realm again, soon. For now it requires that I open my eyes and face Life.
- While this life is sweet, I look forward to life in the Hereafter.
There goes..
It’s worth recording, for next time, there may be variation to it.
duniakubukubukuku
06 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
in Books
Kekadang I belek-belek Kamus Dewan (terbaru Edisi Keempat) . Boleh dikatakan I baca kamus ni… he he. Jangan jeles you… orang yang tak dak banyak tanggungjawab, memang boleh baca kamus ke, tin biskut ke, pembalut biskut ke, apa segala. Cuma tak terbaca ja. Ni ha buku-baru beli tak terbaca pun lagi..
Sebab apa I mention pasai kamus Dewan ni, I terjumpa 2 blog sasterawan yang menulis dalam Melayu yang canggis-manggis dan ‘pakai buku’ gitu. Best gak ni, depa ni pejuang bahasa. Kalau depa baca tulisan aku ni, tentu depa kata aku ni perosak bahasa. Tapi honestly aku rasa depa ni terikat dengan komitmen perjuangan itu. Eee tak best kan ? Mungkin aku boleh titipkan satu atau dua posting yang mematuhi peraturan bahasa seperti yang depa buat.
(Err… korang tau tak, sekarang perkataan ‘kapcai’ telah ada dalam daftar kata Dewan Bahasa ni. Eeee macam tak pecaya kan ?)
Ni ha buku-baru beli tak terbaca pun lagi..
Yang kat atas ni, bahasa dia amat klasik dan berbelit-belit. Sebab tu loya sikit bila nak baca.
yang kat bawah ni ni dah lama habis baca, sebab nipis je ..
Ada satu bestseller baru, the Rules of Wealth, covernya menyerupai buku ini. Belum habis baca lagi. Tak dak gambar sebab buku tu la ni dok kat rumah.
Ini pulak adalah kura-kura yang aku jumpa merayap-rayap kat luar kawasan rumah. Aku amek sebab nak tunjuk kat budak-budak tu. Maklumlah budak-budak tu seumur hidup tak pernah tengok benatang ni. Depa panggil tortoise sebab kat sekolah cikgu ajar benatang ni nama dia tortoise. Maklumlah depa ni belajag sains bahasa omputeh. Depa ni kalau jumpa berudu, depa tak panggil berudu, depa pangge tadpoles.
Menatang ni tak nak hidup dalam kawasan rumah kami. Tak pa biarkan dia bebas. Dan selamat.
Ni nak gosip sikit, tadi kan, masa balik dari beli susu dan roti utk budak-budak tu, depa hari ni cirit-birit dok umah tak gi skolah, I terserempak dengan klien I jiran yang kaya-raya itu. Dia ni walaupun selekeh habis, tapi dia … ehhhh tak jadi gosip.
Nota : Penerbitan TLT Weekly dihentikan seketika sebab mesin pencetak rosak.
lafazkan bencimu
05 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
lafazkan benci membahang dalam hatimu itu di bulan penuh
campakkan resahmu di laut tenang
rungkai kesumat yang menyesak dalam dadamu itu
benamkan ia di kancah tenang
aku di sini biasa-biasa saja
izinkan dia bahagia..
02 Apr 2012 Leave a Comment
Pada hari Sabtu lepas, kami kunjungi sekeping hati yang sepi dilukai. Pada usia rapuh seperti itu, hati manapun kepingin sekali didampingi anak-anak yang pernah sarat dalam kandungan, yang pernah disusui penuh kasih-sayang dan dibesarkan penuh pengharapan.
Aku mungkin akan faham, atau mungkin juga tak akan faham-faham. Lalu kudekati dia dan pengalamannya yang bagai buku terbuka menanti dibaca.
Yang tampak pada mata kasar kami, hanyalah ketabahan dan kesabaran menempuh dugaan, dizahirkan dengan persekitaran sebuah taman yang mendamaikan.
Berbaring atas tikar rotan dan menatap bumbung tak bersiling. Aku cuba tonton cerita Bobby dalam cuaca panas meruap di bawah bumbung ini. Tapi malamnya nyaman, jika tidak dengan bunyi deru kenderaan yang lalu-lalang, tidak kurang 20 meter dari telingaku.
Oh Tuhan… kau bahagiakanlah dia..Kau perkenankanlah doanya..
Virus M
29 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
Jom meghaban, nak ? Ada banyak menda nak buat, tapi satu pun tak terbuat sebab sekarang ni rasa malas. Ya Allah, ampunlah aku bila aku terkena penyakit malas macam ni. Aku kena hantar satu submission pada/sebelum 20 April nanti, kepada Puan Nurul Nadzia. Aku nak sangat menang permohonan ni. Sebab tu kena prepare submission yang kawkaw punya. Kalau tak menang kat High Court, aku dah bersedia nak rayu kat Mahkamah Rayuan, sebab rasa aku, point-point dia cantik. Lawan aku adalah seorang lawyer India lelaki tua, yang suaranya kat telefon bergetar-getar seolah-olah tenggoroknya longgar. So kau ingat dia ni tua meghegon. In real life, bila aku jumpa dia semalam, tak de la tua sangat. Lepas tu, cerita lain pula, sebelum 9 April kena masukkan satu permohonan utk stay proceedings, dan nak masukkan afidavit to prove interest in rem, as if afidavit sokongan aku tu belum cukup nak prove a right in rem. Application to stay ini kena masukkan walaupun klien aku tak de locus pun lagi. PKP-PKP ni kadang-kadang macam terlebih pandai je. Benda-benda yang tak proper dan jump the gun pun dia boleh suggest aku buat, gasak kau lah PKP. Dan ada lagi setimbun kerja lain, tak kan aku nak story satu persatu. Pendek kata, walaupun firm ni kecik, tapi banyak gheja nak kena buat. Agaknya sebab kecik la kot, byk benda nak kena buat. Kalau firm besar, main delegate-delegate je kot ?
Puan-puan, topik hari ini adalah : bagaimana untuk sentiasa semangat meneruskan hidup. Hidup kita ini banyak cabarannya. Dan setiap dari kita lain cabaran yang kita tempuh. Walaupun dah set macam-macam taktik dan strategi, bila penyakit malas menyerang, semua strategi itu pun hilang entah ke mana.
Ada ka orang yang semangat ja 24 jam, tak pernah bosan buat kerja? Mesti orang tu adalah orang gila kan ? Ishhh, taknak la jadi orang gila. Lebih baik jadi waras daripada jadi gila. Walaupun orang gila ni, kalau bunuh orang pun , tak boleh dihukum gantung. Haa..
Daripada pemerhatian aku, rajin dan malas ni dia silih berganti. Dia macam satu kitaran. We kena bergerak ikut edaran cycle itu. We can’t force ourselves to always stay upbeat. There will be times when we have to unwind, and let go off things, for a while. So bila mai penyakit malas ni, buat la benda yang macam aku tengah buat ni… ada gak paedah. Bila baca balik, akan datang perasaan malu pada diri sendiri. Takpa, buat ja.
Haa… lepas tulis ni, rasa insaf sikit. Banyak sungguh peluang yang Allah beri, tapi masih lagi nak berduka hati. Cari ja alasan utk bermuram durja. Bila kamu kerja sendiri, tiada orang arah kamu buat itu ini, ada bahayanya tau. Kamu mungkin tak de self target, menyebabkan kamu tangguhkan itu ini. Kalau kamu kerja dengan orang, kamu takkan ada peluang nak relax-relax cam tu, sebab kalau dapat bos yang garang, dia kejar kamu 24 jam. So, nampak macam tip-top je. Cabaran utama bila anda di atas kaki sendiri adalah : bagaimana seimbangkan mental anda bila cabaran sekeliling berubah-ubah. Tekanan adalah pelbagai tetapi komitmen dan tahap kekuatan mental anda terhadap pekerjaan anda tidak boleh goyah. Itu cabarannya.
Ada seorang kawan aku, dia kata, bila dia mai sheh malas ni, dia akan tido kat sofa dalam ofis. Dia betul-betul tido untuk hilangkan stress itu. Berapa banyak sangat masa kamu akan habis untuk tido itu ? Aku rasa, tak sampai dua jam. Tapi kalau tido dua jam itu boleh selamatkan lagi enam jam waktu bekerja kenapa tidak ? Lagipun, bukan tiap-tiap hari macam tu. Itu ikhtiar masing-masinglah.
Orang lain, lain pula cabarannya. Aku selalu merasakan orang yang ada laki, tidak perlu bekerja utk menyara diri, boleh jadi suri rumah kalau dia mahu, yang lain semua husband provide, yang kalau gas habis laki dia akan angkat tong gas itu masuk dalam bonet, lepas tu pi beli gas ganti, yang kalau bateri kereta dia conked, dia tak payah-payah nak pangge mekanik ganti bateri itu, itulah wanita paling untung abad ini . Tapi, on second thought, selagi kita tidak mendengar sendiri keluh-kesah dari mulut mereka ini, simpan dulu cemburu anda itu. I can think of one such lady client. She has everything. I think she and the rest of them, lain pula set cabaran hidup mereka, betul tak ? Tuhan kan maha adil. Like this lady, dia selalu risau laki dia pasang yang lain. Tension juga kalau sentiasa risau cenggitu kan ? Engkau boleh maju ke dalam hidup kalau asyik risau kot kot laki dikebas orang je 24 jam ? Aku rasa aku pun tak sanggup diuji sampai tahap itu. Ujian utk cari sendiri sesuap nasi bagi aku jauh lebih mudah daripada itu.
Sekian, dan tamat.
TLT Weekly – Week 12
23 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in miscella
1. Seeking Winnability in Shahrizat
Still about Shahrizat.
Shahrizat is still making a headline here at TLT. Wanita’s No 2 Datuk Kamilia Ibrahim is reported to oppose Shahrizat’s read here, while tengku Adnan (UMNO’s Sec-General) says since she’s elected there’s not reason to ask her to resign. In the pursuit of winnable candidates for the upcoming GEs, one may wonder if Shahrizat is too winnable to be counted out. Every one knows she didn’t win the Lembah Pantai seat last time.
2. Tan Sri Mazlan Noordin dies on 22nd March
Veteran journalist Tan Sri Mazlan Nordin passed away on 22nd March. He was 86 years old.
3. First Conviction under AMLA 2001
One Dr Hamimah was sentences to 38 years jail and fined, unde Anti-Money Laundering Act 2001. Hers was the first conviction ever under the Act. Read about it here.
Lagi-Lagi Lembu
23 Mar 2012 2 Comments
in miscella
Logik dan democratically-feasible tak kau rasa, kalau Najib buat pungutan suara MP-MPnya, menteri-menteri kabinetnya, peneraju sayap-sayap partinya, tentang sesuatu isu yang didesak rakyat, dan kemudian make accessible those comments to the rakyat, in the internet ? Contohnya, isu Shahrizat ini, sama ada dia patut lepaskan jawatan Ketua Wanita UMNO ? Di kalangan dia orang ni, ada yang kata Shahrizat patut belah. (eg Bung Mukhtar, Kamilia Ibrahim – UMNO Wanita No. 2)Ada yang kata tak patut implicate Shahrizat untuk kesalahan (yang belum dibuktikan dalam Court) yang dibuat oleh suaminya.
Aku rasa cara ini akan kurangkan pening kepala Najib, dan bila Najib sendiri buat keputusan berdasarkan suara-suara mereka ini, Najib sendiri akan dilihat tidak membuat keputusan berseorangan, dan tidak buat keputusan dalam keadaan sorok-sorok. Camner kau rasa ?
Kau pikir ada logik ke tidak dalam hujah Tengku Adnan (UMNO S-G) dalam mempertahankan kedudukan Shahrizat itu ? Apa kata dia, kita petik ke sini buat berbincang : (dipetik dari sini). She was elected, why need she to resign ?
Hello, when she was elected the perwakilan did not even know of the NFC Scandal. Had it been known then, sure it would have affected the perwakilan’s decision, betul tak ? What do you think ?
TLT Weekly – Week 11
16 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in miscella
1. Shahrizat finally succumbing to pressure
Shahrizat finally succumbed to pressure. She announced her resignation, as reported today. TLT lauds the news, but that is not good enuf. She still is Wanita Umno Chief and Barisan Nasional Wanita Chief. I say, she should disappear into oblivion. But cannot. Today, the Opposition claims they have found a link between NFC investments and Shahrizat, read here.
2. In a safe place where we live today ..
Malaysia is a safer place today. In a safe place where we live today, we just learnt that yesterday (Thursday) they just found the remain of a 5-year old murdered and burnt. Nurul Nadirah’s body, who was reportedly gone missing on 1st March was found in a plantation. Missing children are a recurrent phenomenon nowadays. Fhen the remains of these dear innocent lives are discovered, it is too late already to point fingers. Still, we can only take ALL necessry precautions. Educate our childern on dangers that lurk today, both during the night time and in the daylight.
3. What is it about SBPA ?
Am too lazy to read up.
The New Tagline
13 Mar 2012 2 Comments
in semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
Did you notice the new tagline ?
In WordPress parlance, the sentence just below my blog name is the tagline. The one you are seeing right now is my second tagline in the TLT series. I intend to feature thereat inspiring quotes from books that I read.
Apart from legal stuff, I find myself drawn to reading materials on the subject of psychology. Last night I read a a chapter from the book Emotional Inteligence by Daniel Goleman, a book I have kept since 2002. DG writes beautifully. His choice of words is an eloquence so mesmerizing. How i wished..
That I am drawn to psychology books… perhaps I have a mental illness to cure. To a certain degree, all of us suffer from some psychological illness. Who said this ? Dr M Scott Peck himself. To this day I consider my procrastination illness as not having been cured fully. From time to time I still find myself in the deepest of the evil dark pit of procrastination. I suspect no further amount of reading the psychological stuff would throw anymore light upon the subject. The only thing I lack is the power to move my ass and complete the task at hand. Reading is sometimes a passive, negative act. I seem to procrastinate more under the pretext of reading further into the matter. God help.. !
There I digressed..
I have meant to write about the new tagline. I am sort of pledging a new resolution there. Whether I discharge the onus of carrying out what I pledge thereat or not, you be the judge, later. The famous book by Scott Peck suggests one very powerful and to me, earth-shattering, concept of transference. It is earth-shattering when it touches on my religious principles that I uphold ever since young. It requires me to discard altogether all my old beliefs about religion and immediately thereafter embrace and build up a new set of beliefs. I didn’t do it but I survived the whole book ! God help me.
One of the four aspects of discipline, as taught by DrPeck is, dedication to the truth. The truth we uphold is what we perceive the world to be. Thus my truth may not be your truth. Dedication to the truth requires us to self-examine the world, and self-examine ourselves stringently and often. Dedication to the truth also requires one to open one’s set of truths for inspection and challenge by other people. Now that’s a very challenging thing to do.
When the matter involves racial issues, or religion, I normally, when I can, shy away from making a public comment. But there had been instances when the opposite was the order of the day, ie when I gungho’ed my opinion through and prepared myself for the public to slash back at me.
Looking back, I came to a conclusion that I had been vulnerable to what I uphold as truth. I feared attack by other people to my upheld truth. I feared I might lose control and reverted unbecomingly. I once had a blog which I called Che Nah. I wrote something there about some ‘sexuality merdeka’ issue. That somehow, had drawn attention from some parties. They pingbacked me. They provided access to my humble blog in hiding. I feared many more people would come and read. I abruptly quitted the blog.
Now applying Dr Peck’s teaching, I presumed I had an unhealthy way to live – to suppress my opinions, keep them to myself. With some more wisdom, all I needed to do was to rephrase my convictions with regard to the issues, into a more civilised writing.
From now on I will voice out my opinion on any matter I choose. The only caveat is that I must exercise due care in the way I say them.
This blog is an open space. That I write and post something here is an act of opening myself and my stance to challenge by whoever that read the stuff here. If you must know, that’s a very courageous thing to do in my scheme of things, so far ! But I am committing myself to it.
TLT Weekly – Week 10
09 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in miscella
1. In politics, when people want you no more, you buzz off !
Now what is the principle that says the above ? If your ministry screws up, you resign. That is ministerial accountability. When your spouse and kids who benefit from your position in the government and they screw up, what accountability is that ? I can’t find a name for it. Shahrizat Abdul Jalil, now painted really black by the National Feedlot Corporation scandal, still chooses to hang around. Latest, she was reported to say, “let the PM decide on my senatorship“, amidst pressure that she should resign . Meaning, she still wants to hold on to her position. I say that is so brave and shameless act of Shahrizat. By the way the minister lost her constituency to PKR Nurul Izzah in 2008 and despite that, was appointed as a cabinet minister.
2. Lynas, buzz off !
I can’t understand why Lynas can’t process the residue back in their place in Australia, where the substance is mined. Just plain mat salleh mentality I imagine. Kudos to those who rally the objection.
3. Beyond Comprehension
What kind of a mother is this ? What anger can a 7-year old cause to one religious teacher to have him lost his life ? Are we sick or what ? How come we read all sorts of crimes every day and yet they tell us that crime index has gone down by 11 % ? And we laud the news that we are safest place in Asean. Really, it is beyond me ..
4. You wouldn’t want to be there ..
Yesterday was a horrible day going to work, in the Klang Valley. I am sure the weather and flood happenings in Klang Valley would soon be a national concern. Have the authorities done enough, and the rights things ..
Stumbled upon a song, and it’s a very very beautiful one..
06 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
I’ll be damned
Here comes your ghost again
But that’s not unusual
It’s just that the moon is full
And you happened to call
And here I sit
Hand on the telephone
Hearing a voice I’d known
A couple of light years ago
Heading straight for a fall
As I remember your eyes
Were bluer than robin’s eggs
My poetry was lousy you said
Where are you calling from?
A booth in the midwest
Ten years ago
I bought you some cufflinks
You brought me something
We both know what memories can bring
They bring diamonds and rust
Well you burst on the scene
Already a legend
The unwashed phenomenon
The original vagabond
You strayed into my arms
And there you stayed
Temporarily lost at sea
The Madonna was yours for free
Yes the girl on the half-shell
Would keep you unharmed
Now I see you standing
With brown leaves falling around
And snow in your hair
Now you’re smiling out the window
Of that crummy hotel
Over Washington Square
Our breath comes out white clouds
Mingles and hangs in the air
Speaking strictly for me
We both could have died then and there
Now you’re telling me
You’re not nostalgic
Then give me another word for it
You who are so good with words
And at keeping things vague
Because I need some of that vagueness now
It’s all come back too clearly
Yes I loved you dearly
And if you’re offering me diamonds and rust
I’ve already paid
small blooms of mine
04 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
Since I was a kid, I have known this small bloom as “seroja”. I know not its English name. It is a tropical flower anyway, why must there be an English name for it. It has a distinct mild fragrance that is calming and refreshing, that is uniquely seroja.
It blooms only under mild sunlight. I must miss the bloom every day when I go to work, for it makes its glorious appearance only around 11am under Malaysian sunlight, before it gets too hot and the trumpet-shaped petals shrink until the next day.
The one in the middle and standing taller is the water balsam, with flowers of similar shade of my seroja.
These plants are easy to grow. They thrive under hot sun and with a lot of water. They do not last long, only for around three months. After the flowering the plant leave behind seeds for the next planting session.
This is “melur” or jasmine. I should not showcase them too early. There are still a lot to learn about the plant. I manage to get them flower profusely but cannot find a good pesticide to keep the pests away from damaging the flower buds. It will take some time. Till then..
Here’s a real heartbreaker. These sweet flowers only make their debut after much much coaxing. Now that I know what fertiliser to use, their next blooming session will promise bigger bunches of flowers, so I hope.
ABC Langit Petang
01 Mar 2012 Leave a Comment
in Pink
Hidup tidak pernah jemu mengajar kita. Kreativiti kita pula adalah perlu untuk memahami pengajaran yang terpampang di muka alam ini. Pandang ke langit, di situ kelas alam pun bermula. Mungkin kita sedang menatap langit dari satu zon selesa. Di kala kita dalam satu zon selesa, kita mungkin ingin terus berlama-lama di situ. Tetapi agenda Allah untuk kita telah tertulis. Jika Allah mungkin mahu kita mencapai lebih daripada apa yang ada dalam zon selesa itu, lalu didatangkanNya ujian baru untuk kita harunginya, bagi mencapai zon selesa yang baru dan lebih baik. Lantas hidup ini adalah sejujukan ufuk-ufuk baru yang kita takluki sesudah sahaja setiap ujian itu berjaya diharungi.
Had this one Day not been
27 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Pink
Is the poet in love or out of love ?
Had this one Day not been
by Emily Dickinson
Had this one Day not been.
Or could it cease to be
How smitten, how superfluous,
Were every other Day!
Lest Love should value less
What Loss would value more
Had it the stricken privilege,
It cherishes before.
at war
12 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in Falsafah untuk TLT, semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
“If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him”
Sun Tzu, The Art of Waratas pucuk kayu ara
09 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in meghaban itu menyihatkan, Pink
Sunflower Under Pressure
05 Feb 2012 Leave a Comment
in loved ones
On 7 Oct 2011 the Sun newspaper (theSun SAYS column) reported that 6,540 secondary school students in six school suffer from severe stress, anxiety and even depression. The findings cited academic-related and family problems as among the causes.
Sunflower1 is going to be thirteen on her next birthday. Recently she got 5A’s in her UPSR but that did not secure her a place in a boarding school. I personally had wished that she gained a place in a full boarding school, as I imagined she would be taught better discipline by the school, than by her mom and me back at home. She herself wanted to be in a MRSM college. None of those were to be. After a heartbreak, she now settles down at the daily secondary school which is only next to her old school. It is a relief to notice that she is beginning to like the school, and her class. At the dinner table, she talks about the attention she receives from her teachers. Her class is comprised of 5A’s and 4A’s students who do not make it to a boarding school and is called Kelas Rancangan Khas (KRK).
As a teenager she has begun to show signs of rebelliousness and discontent at times. Sometimes she wants to be by herself. Sometimes she raises her voice to her younger sister and brothers. Sometimes she starts a quarrel with one of them. Sometimes it is difficult asking her to do or finish a task, a house-chore. Between me and her mom, we try to handle the tantrums as they come the best we can. And admittedly there are times when we ourselves lose our cool. If these are the beginning signs of the stress, anxiety or even depression that the newspaper talked about, I do not know. And if they are, I want to nip them in the bud.
The weekday evenings would be spent finishing homework. The entire energy of the day is focused on the schooling. It seems like there are tonnes of homework these days, and she is only in Form One ! At the end of the day, it is no wonder that she may turn waspish and temperamental. Thus I have made a leeway so that Sunflower1 may not get too tired; house-chores on weekdays are not compulsory. Meaning, if they are too tired for the day, I don’t nag over the subject of a topsy-turvy kitchen. And if I myself have enough energy left for the day, dinner will be served before maghrib, so that we have time to catch up on each of the young ones’ latest developments at school.
We as parents, how can we not expect only the best from our kids when we know things may not stay the same in the future ? I used to think getting 5A’s was so minimum a requirement, that if Sunflower1 could not get it, that would reflect on my lack of initiative as a parent. How guilty is that ? I mean, things may get worse with the quality of politicians we have at the helm today . We have no option than to seize the day, while we can. We ourselves are anxious, so the anxiety is unconsciously transferred to the child.
While we strive for the best, we may push the young ones too hard in their academics. At school, again they will face their teachers whose boss persistently tells them to achieve better grades this year.
So, everybody is preaching those under them to achieve higher.
Perhaps there is a different approach parents can take to handle this situation ? I want to find out.
a word a day keeps the blues away, ada faham ?
02 Feb 2012 4 Comments
You learn something new every day. Mine today is the meaning of the word “choleric”. I had always thought of the word to be the adjective for the word “cholera”. Ha ha ha… I read Hajjah Esah Jolie’s blog often but had never been intrigued why she used the word”cholericworld” in her blogspot URL. Now I know, he he ..
The Bold
31 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Falsafah untuk TLT, semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
Fortune favours the bold.
Serabut
26 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Falsafah untuk TLT, semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
Seseorang yang otaknya serabut, mejanya serabut, biliknya serabut, dirinya pun serabut.
Some say messy minds have messy desk. It is mootable (why is there no such word in the Oxford dictionary?) though. If you look at it another way, an empty head has an empty desk. The mess may indicate that some work is in progress, so someting is actually brewing in the mind. No ?
Discipline – the lifeline
25 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in Falsafah untuk TLT, semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
“Discipline is the bridge between hope and reality, between thought and achievement, between wishing for success and becoming truly successful.”
Hopefully every time when these words stream through my thought, something resolute crystallises in the backyard of my mind.
Falsafah untuk TLT II
24 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
“He who knows much about others may be learned but he who understands himself is more intelligent. He who controls others may be powerful but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.”
Tao WisdomFalsafah untuk TLT I
23 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
in semangat yang hilang kutemui semula
Plasapah untuk hari ini ialah “you cannot kindle a fire in any heart until it is first burning bright in your own”
Source : unknown.
Untuk nyalakan api semangat dalam hati orang lain, hatimu sendiri mesti semarak dengan api semangat itu. Aku idak le nak semarakkan apa-apa api semangat dalam hati siapa-siapa. Aku hanya ingin semarakkan api semangat untuk mencapai yang lebih baik dalam masa tak sampai setahun ini. Untuk itu, semangat ini harus selalu-selalu disemarakkan. Kat mana lagi kalau tak di blog ini. Biag semarak sampai tebakag blog ini, tak mengapa.
Kalau Tuhan bagi aku sedikit kreativiti, aku ingin curahkan kreativiti itu untuk tolong klien-klienku capai penyelesaian menang-memang tanpa proses mahkamah. Aku harus mengarang surat yang meruntun simpati mereka yang menempel di tampuk kuasa itu. Yang ada sedikit ugutan halus yang boleh jadi mega kalau mereka enggan peduli. Hmmm… apa ya perkataan yang sesuai untuk mereka itu ..
Oh ya… untuk ia terus membara, ia juga harus membakar di dapur mindaku tika aku sujud padaNya.
tak der dessert pun, kenyang juga
17 Jan 2012 Leave a Comment
Semalam, tertonton satu part dalam satu drama china kat tv. Orang tak tau tajuk apa sebab orang memang jenis yang tak pernah tengok drama china. As a matter of fact, orang memang jenis tak tengok tv. Dalam satu part tu, ada satu watak, dia kata, hidup ini macam western course ke, camtu. Cinta dalam hidup adalah umpama dessert. Kalau tak de pun, makan kenyang juga. Orang pikir, ada betul jugak. Kalau ada dessert memang bagus, tapi kalau tak de pun, dapat makan main course dah cukup bagus. Kenyang alhamdulillah. Betullah jugak kan, takkan kalau tak dak dessert, kita nak lempag semua apa yang dihidang. Bodohlah kira, kalau cam tu.
Ada tak ada, terimalah itu sebagai ketentuan untuk kita. Malahan insaflah, banyak lagi nikmat hidup yang Allah beri yang mesti kita syukuri. Kalau asyik fikir yang tak de dan butakan mata untuk yang sekelian ada di sekeliling kita, bukankah itu kufur nikmat namanya ?
Orang bukan kes ‘sour grapes’. Kalau tak der bahagian, memang tak der lah. Redha dengan ketentuan itu lebih baik daripada memberontak dalam pasrah.Pasrah itu bukan redha. Pasrah itu mengalah dan menyerah kerana tidak terdaya lagi untuk mengubah. Mulut kata redha, kat blog pun kata redha, tapi memberontak seribu satu macam dalam tindak-tanduk. Banyak kes macam tu kan ? Tak payahlah nak bagi bagi contoh. Dan tak payah juga, cari alasan kebaikan-kebaikan kalau tak der dessert. Inginkan dessert itu adalah fitrah. Tapi ingatlah kalau tak der itu, menganggap ketak-adaan itu sebagai ujian yang istimewa dari al-Khalik adalah attitude yang lebih menguntungkan.
After all, life is what you make of it.
02/02/2012 There’s a book by Warren Buffett’s son entitled “Life is What You Make It”
Bangsaku Tidak Hebat Kalau Tidak Kerana Islam
12 Jan 2012 2 Comments
That is what I believe all along. What was the glue that kept us Malays together and one pre-Independence time ? I guess, our faith in Islam. Was it easy then to bring us together, if not for our faith in Islam ? I guess not.
Islam has united the most barbaric of peoples; the ancient Arab tribes. They buried their female infants alive (ooppss.. maybe not a good example of their peculiar barbarism, for the present Malays are equally guilty of abandoning babies here and there 
). What are we today, compared to their barbarism ? But Islam has enlightened them, enriched them, nourished them, taken them out of the darkness and lo, if the Jews and the Christians had not resisted the One God, there would be only one revealed religion today.
gosh it’s already the 4th ..
04 Jan 2012 1 Comment
It’s already 2nd day at the office this new year. I’ve read speculations. Some say it’s going to be a turbulent year (yet again ! But just notice how I emerged unscathed every new year. Allahu akbar !)
2011 ? I say, what a year ! The sweetest of 2011 took place on the 9th day of December. Am still savouring the sweetness, now licking my lips as if the taste lingers there. Then on 27th there was a letter from Hong Leong Bank offering me a platinum business credit card. Will I ever need a credit card again all my life ? Don’t know.
In 2011 just before it ended I discovered and learned a personal meaning of a very great du’a. Allahu akbar ! By the way, do you notice how simple du’as that the Prophet taught us can also be relevant in aspects other than that it was originally showcased for ? If you let me know your own personal experience regarding this, I’ll tell you mine.
I read the forbidden horoscope as well, because Yahoo made it so so available that day. Well it says Taureans are gonna be lucky in many many ways 
Caya lah ! Even the Chinese horoscope predicts the Roosters are the luckiest of all the twelve.
My blood pressure reading is getting better, for all the short time exercises daily and my sister’s blended celery juice that we take every day . And it is only the beginning of the new year.
Here is one tough old girl who is yet to experience her best days
Sungguh, Mati itu Dekat
29 Dec 2011 Leave a Comment
Sesungguhnya mati itu amat dekat.
Baru pagi ini aku ketahui jiran sebelah pejabat telah meninggal hari Ahad lepas. Disemadikan di Parit, Perak. Aku selalu berurusan dengannya kerana majikan tempatnya bekerja adalah klien firmaku. Apa yang boleh aku katakan adalah, beliau seorang yang berdedikasi dalam tugasnya. Urusan-urusanku dengan majikannya sering sahaja menjadi mudah. Kenapa ya orang-orang yang ada kualiti yang bagus, matinya begitu cepat ?
Usianya 12 tahun lebih muda daripadaku. Aku tidak tahupun yang dia sedang mengandung. Khabarnya sudah enam bulan lebih. Pada pukul 3 pagi hari Sabtu lepas, katanya dia ke bilik air untuk buang air. Keluar dari bilik air dalam keadaan merangkak. Kata mereka rahimnya pecah. Ya Allah, tentu sakitnya bukan kepalang. Satu rasa sakit yang aku tidak akan tahu bagaimana peritnya. Dia mengalami pendarahan yang banyak. Bayinya terselamat, sekarang ini di dalam inkubator.
انالله واناالية راجعون
Rasa sebak sebentar. Akan kuhadiahkan A-Fatihah dan Yaa Siin setakat aku mampu.
Aku sendiri sudah lebih sepuluh hari terkena selesema. Masih belum baik betul. Entah kenapa, kali ini begitu lama untuk sembuh. Selalunya dua tiga hari aku sudah sembuh. Sampai hari ini kepalaku masih berdenyut-denyut di sekitar tulang hidung dan soket mataku. Sehingga aku merasakan, ubat-ubat yang kuambil bukannya menyembuhkan, malah memendam penyakitku itu daripada terzahir. Oleh itu selepas seketika kucuba bertahan tanpa ubat. Lalu hidungku pula sumbat akibat hingus yang begitu banyak terkumpul dalam rongga hidung. Malam-malam tidurku terganggu akibat salur nafasku tersekat.
Sampailah hari Selasa lepas, hingus yang kuhembus bercampur darah. Agak banyak. Barulah aku berjumpa doktor. Belum sempat aku beritahu, doktor sudah bertanya, berdarah tak ? Baru lega rasanya mendengar penjelasan doktor. Sekarang tidak berdarah lagi. Tapi hingus tetap ada, begitu pekat dan merengsakan hariku. Doktor beri satu ubat cecair yang aku perlu titiskan ke dalam hidung. Entah apa namanya tidak pula ditulis pada botolnya.
Semasa tubuhku menjadi begitu lemah, macam-macam fikiran timbul. Apakah aku terkena selesema burung, selesema babi ? Apakah aku akan mati ? Semua itu bermain-main dalam otakku.
Sebaiknya kalau kita ingat mati itu hampir, kita cuba perbaiki diri kita semampu mungkin. Kita perbetulkan apa yang silap. Kita perelok hubungan sesama manusia. Sebaik-baik ingatan terhadap mati adalah bahawa kita membuat persediaan seolah-olah kita akan mati sebentar lagi. Alangkah bagus kalau kita mati sehelai sepinggang, tanpa dosa yang kita heret bersama.
deja vu
05 Dec 2011 2 Comments
Been away almost two years.. and missed this ground. I am back like a prodigal daughter .. hopefully for good. Just read my old writings and couldn’t help feeling I must have improved a lot in my now dead blog. I must write more ..
Setimbun kerja yang tak siap-siap..
09 Apr 2010 1 Comment
Dalam diri setiap kita, mesti ada sifat malas kan ? Tak sikit banyak. Tak banyak sikit. Mesti ada sifat suka bertangguh-tangguh kan ? Terkadang aku rancang buat hujahan awal-awal. Tapi creativity tak mai-mai maka bertangguh lama. Dah dekat deadline baru tergedik-gedik nak baca baik fail, teliti dokumen, cari idea-idea maut.. selalu cenggitu kan ? Tapi banyak hujahan aku yang buat menang kes punya memang disediakan semasa aku tengah-tengah pressure. Masa tu lah baru nampak point itu ini. Memang perangai buruk …
Fail aku bukan banyak mana pun. Ada lah lebih kurang 20 fail lebih. But the number is increasing very fast nowadays. Kalau betul-betul manage time dengan baik, memang boleh buat cantik-cantik. Insya Allah, boleh buat kot…tak boleh tamak. Apa yang ada, buat betul-betul.
Seronok tau kerja sendiri. Ia mencabar. Teramat mencabar. Dulu kerja dengan orang lain caranya. Tapi pengalaman dan technical know-how masa kerja dengan orang dulu tu penting. Yang kini jadi hak exclusive aku. He he..
Semasa aku baru join kak aku dulu, tak de sebijik fail pun. Masa tu kerja tak banyak, aku jadi tension sebab tak de kerja nak buat. Dulu masa kerja dengan orang, dah biasa kerja banyak bertimbun-timbun. Melompat-lompat dan berlari dalam ofis. Bila tak dak gheja nak buat jadi mati kutu semacam. Masa tu aku lecture part time dekat 2 universities. Dah terkejar nak sediakan lecture notes dan check assignment budak pulak ! Alhamdulillah lepas tu, kerja ofis pun masuk sikit demi sikit. Tak mau lagi dah lecture-lecture ni.. seronok tapi penat, tak kuasa badan I ni…
Teringat cerita Mak, dulu masa Ayah mula-mula buka bengkel basikalnya, tak banyak basikal untuk dibaiki. Jadi Ayah masuk hutan pi tebang pokok setui dan buat terompah kayu untuk dijual. Ayah juga beli petrol dr Pendang atau Kota Sarang Semut dan jual kat orang kampung. Masa dulu zaman takdak letrik Ayah beli charger bateri basah (masa tu org guna untuk bekalan elektrik kat rumah) dan ambil upah mengecas bateri. Aku harap sifat Ayah yang itu ada dalam diri aku. Tak banyak, sikit.
Sekarang ni, selepas dua tahun berdiri atas kaki sendiri, pakai nama sendiri, aku sudah nampak prospek untuk terus ke hadapan. Alhamdulillah Allah telah mendorong aku memilih apa yang telah aku pilih selama ini. Hidup ini sangat indah bila kita menghargai setiap pemberianNya kepada kita. Semoga Allah limpahkan rahmatnya atas kakak aku juga yang telah berjuang secara solo dengan gagah beraninya selama ini.
Hidup menjadi bererti bila ada cabaran-cabaran untuk diharungi. Bila ada lagi kemuncak baru untuk ditawan.
Morning Post
05 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
I briskwalked 6 rounds in 30 minutes this morning. Now feeling good. Will take my bath after finishing this post.
On last Friday I was at Selayang Court. Obtained OIT. Finished my matter around 9.09 am. Won’t proceed with the papers until client pays.
alas my you do me wrong
to cast me off discourteously
the Social Contract & the communal arrangement of our forefathers
02 Apr 2010 Leave a Comment
This is my take on the social contract, triggered by one article I read yesterday.
I was introduced to the term “social contract” by my lecturer Pak Brahim Lamat in his Jurisprudence classes and Law & Development classes.
From what I understand, there are only two parties to this contract ie the people (the citizens of a country, the rakyat) and the government. It is an English concept , propounded by one jurist by the name of Hobbes. The said contract imposes obligation to the government to protect the people’s civil liberties and rights in consideration for vast powers/authorities/mandate given by the people to the government to govern the state.
I still remember Pak Brahim used to say that the Malays of the Nusantara also had our version of the social contract in the Hobbesian sense. According to Pak Brahim, (I found out later that he was referring to the Second Story of the Sejarah Melayu) what transpired between Demang Lebar Daun and Sang Sapurba in the chronicle amounted to the Malay’s social contract. Under the contract, the rakyat may withdraw its vesting of powers to the raja/goverment if the rakyat is not happy with how the raja/government exercises its powers.
And of course in the modern democratic setting, we have to redefine who are the rakyats and who are the rajas.
I will try to enclose the wordings of the covenant here later.
Recently there was an issue whether the Federal Constitution or any part of it forms a “social contract”. According to many it is. I beg to differ. I am inclined to preserve the meaning of the term “social contract” as I learned it in class. The Federal Constitution 0f 1957 is the communal arrangement between major races of Tanah melayu then, yes ! But to call it the social contract, no I won’t refer to it as such. The term “social contract” has been there for a long long time, let us not give a new dimension or our own meaning to it. Why don’t we call it (the Federal Constitution or any special Articles in it) a Communal Arrangement instead ?
This communal arrangement of the Federal Constitution of 1957 is so sacred I will uphold it no matter what. We live by the spirit of the reason behind the give-and-take between our forefathers more than 52 years ago.
I intend to add/rewrite certain part of this article, kalau ada masa.
Die Today
31 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
Semua yang hidup pasti merasai mati.
Every soul must taste of death
Sunday Post
28 Mar 2010 1 Comment
Katakan anda telah membuat pembayaran untuk pergi mengerjakan umrah kepada sebuah syarikat Melayu, XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd.
Dipendekkan cerita, syarikat tersebut telah songlap duit anda, dan niat suci anda untuk mengerjakan umrah di tanah suci hancus berkecais. Hati anda juga sakit teramat-amat bila staf-staf di syarikat itu asyik tangguh dan berdolak-dalik untuk kembalikan duit anda.
Ingat, bayaran telah dibuat kepada agensi itu, sebuah syarikat sendirian berhad. Resit dikeluarkan oleh syarikat itu XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd.
Bila anda menyaman dan dapatkan penghakiman, anda kena namakan XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd sebagai Defendan, yang kemudiannya jadi Penghutang Penghakiman, walaupun anda kenal baik dengan pengarah-pengarah celaka XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd yang telah joli duit anda tak ingat itu duit orang nak pi Mekah. Itu adalah protection yang company law dah bagi turun-temurun bagi pengarah-pengarah syarikat. Dah dapat penghakiman pun, duit anda tak jugak dapat-dapat balik. Duit dah banyak bayar kat lawyer.
Sebab sakit hati anda pada pengarah-pengarah syarikat itu yang anda nampak masih ke hulu ke hilir, anda tanya lawyer anda apa option yang anda ada. Lawyer anda kata lebih kurang macam ni …
- Anda boleh gulungkan syarikat tu, tapi last sekali anda mungkin tak dapat satu sen pun jugak, hanya kepuasan mempunah-jahanamkan syarikat itu dari mukabumi ini.
- Satu cara lagi keluarkan saman penghutang penghakiman terhadap XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd tapi executekan penghakiman ke atas pengarah-pengarah syarikat. Kalau pengarah tak nak hadir ke mahkamah dia boleh dia boleh dipenjarakan (walaupun kosnya anda yang tanggung). Ingat pengarah berkenaan datang untuk beritahu keupayaan syarikat untuk lunaskan hutang. Dia tidak bertanggungan secara peribadi untuk lunaskan hutang itu…Aduhh..Last sekali anda tak dapat satu sen pun jugak.
- Boleh juga pi sita dan lelong barang-barang syarikat tapi make sure itu semua barang syarikat sahaja dan bukannya barangan orang lain punya hak. Susah tu kan ?
In summary memang susah nak dapat balik duit anda tu.
Penyelesaian luar mahkamah hanya boleh dicapai dalam kes di mana Defendan punya conscience dan prihatin kemanusiaan yang tinggi. Kalau tak bye bye je lah.
Kalau awal-awal dia bagi nama syarikat dia tu XYZ Celaka Melingkup Travel & Tours Sdn Bhd kan senang ? Taklah anda pun terhemoi-hemoi nak tempah package kat situ. Ye tak ?
let the pictures do the talking
28 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
I spent one night with the kids before they checked out on last Sunday.
My own, since my first entry at the blogspot.
Hotel room vacation is not for me !
New Look
24 Mar 2010 1 Comment
in 2010
I change my blog theme like I change dress. Hopefully this theme and its header are here to stay for some time he he he… Boring pakai baju yang sama tiap-tiap hari… mesti nak tukar-tukar.
my own, pretty in red
You can say that this blog does not concern so much of its contents. I write craps. Craps as they are, they are therapeutic nonetheless. Probably I should make an effort to write something of quality. I will try, I will try hu hu hu…
Art Harun writes beautifully and admirably, but the contents of his writing saddens me. I envy his writing talent as much as I wonder why he makes use of that God-given talent to write what he wrote. It’s freedom of expression my dear…lantak lah dia nak tulis apa pun. Lantaklah dia nak percaya apa pun.
I have taken out all links to political blogs that I frequent. Not sure why, dah penat kot baca politics stuff. Bukannya I boleh ubah senario politik Malaysia pun. Nak faham je. Semakin semak fikiran adalah.
Submission utk Kak Fadilah mesti siapkan hari ni jugak. Awatlah slow sangat hari ni. My idea-idea creative nak goreng tak mai-mai.
Perut dah lapar, nak gi makan. One article on MCA is brewing in my dashboard. Tak publish-publish sebab kualitinya kualiti tandas. By Saturday I mesti dah publish itu artikel.
Jari-jemari Hijau
16 Mar 2010 2 Comments
bunga ni Mak yang tanam, dalam pasu bawah beranda
Semenjak aku kecil lagi, Mak memang suka tanam bunga. Mak selalunya beli benih pokok bunga di Pekan Rabu, sebuah pasar hari yang diadakan setiap hari Rabu di kampung aku. Ayah pun suka tanam pokok, tapi pokok-pokok buah. Ayah tanam durian rambutan, langsat, manggis, kelapa keliling rumah kami.
Ayah selalu dengkikan pokok-pokok bunga yang Mak tanam. Mana-mana Mak tanam bunga, Ayah akan tempekkan pokok barunya berdekatan. Nanti pokok bunga Mak akan terbantut tumbesarannya. Mak nanti marah-marah dekat Ayah. Ayah kata, pokok bunga tak boleh makan, tapi pokok buah nanti boleh makan buah.
Bila musim kemarau kami tiga beradik bergilir-gilir siram pokok buah yang Ayah tanam dan pokok bunga Mak tanam. Kalau ada yang mati selepas dilanda kemarau teruk, Ayah akan sulam dengan benih pokok yang baru. Hasilnya sekarang kami dapat makan durian, manggis dan rambutan sepuasnya bila tiba musim buah.
Ayah dah sampai boleh jual hasil pokok-pokoknya pada pada orang yang buat permintaan. Aku ingat pasaran mangiis sangat bagus. Tetapi Ayah tidak mahu jual mahal. Aku ingat Ayah hanya benarkan harga RM5.00 2 kilo. Itu pun dah berbaloi dengan usaha Ayah selama ini.
Seingat aku, setiap tahun kami Ayah akan buat doa selamat juadahnya pulut dengan durian. Di Kedah kami menikmati pulut yang ditanak, disimbah dengan santan pekat mentah yang dimasukkan sedikit garam, dan tabur sedikit gula di atasnya. Makan dengan durian. Sedapnya tak tercerita. Semua ni Mak yang sediakan.
Penganan ini kami sediakan juga di dalam rumah kami kini, supaya si kecil- si kecil semuanya tahu sedapnya rasa pulut durian. Walaupun jauh daripada kampung halaman kami tidak mahu mereka terputus daripada budaya pemakanan cara kami dulu-dulu. Walaupun dengan durian yang kami beli di tepi jalan.
Petang-petang bila Mak lapang selepas penat menguruskan kami, Mak masih ada masa dan tenaga membelek pokok-pokok bunganya. Pokok bunga Mak bagus tumbuhnya. Mak juga kenalpasti siapa di kalangan anak-anaknya yang bertangan sejuk. Setiap anak disuruh tanam pokok. Kalau pokok itu hidup dikatakan anak yang menanam pokok itu bertangan sejuk. Maksudnya, kalau menanam pokok, pokok itu hidup. Kalau tidak, dikatakan anak itu, tangannya panas. He he he…
benih bunga ni Cikgu Umi Kalsom yang bagi. Mak jaga sampai hari ni
Mak suka sekali pokok ros. Mak pandai buat keratan tut dan kahwinkan pokok ros. Selepas kahwin pokok ros Mak akan berbunga pelbagai warna. Mak aku memang resourceful orangnya. Reban ayam Mak buat sendiri, sebab kalau suruh Ayah, entah bila nak jadi.
Aku perhatikan Mak memang suka bunga-bunga kecil. Baju-baju Mak pun banyak yang coraknya bunga-bunga kecil. Ni ada dua lagi gambar bunga-bunga kecil yang Mak tanam.
kat bawah beranda jugak
Mak panggil bunga ni kepala lalat
Seri Menanti
15 Mar 2010 2 Comments
On 19th June 2009 I visited the old Istana Seri Menanti, after a Mention at Kuala Pilah Court. A visit I did not plan.
A guide sort of insisted to follow me on my tour inside the palace probably because I was alone. Did I look scared ? I was not scared in the least. I climbed up till the attic, alone. Took a few shots inside there, trying to visualize princes and princesses living their live therein the palace a long time ago.
There was a group of secondary school students, probably on an assignment.
Below are pictures of the exterior of the palace.
Cantik tak gambar-gambar I amek ni ?
Next Post
10 Mar 2010 Leave a Comment
Bésame, bésame mucho,
Como si fuera esta noche la última vez.
Bésame, bésame mucho,
Que tengo miedo a perderte, perderte después.
Quiero tenerte muy cerca,
Mirarme en tus ojos, verte junto a mí.
Piensa que tal vez mañana
Yo ya estaré lejos, muy lejos de tí.
Bésame, bésame mucho,
Como si fuera esta noche la última vez.
Bésame, bésame mucho,
Que tengo miedo a perderte, perderte después
I Missed My Maz
04 Mar 2010 2 Comments
I have been away for a long long time, and am back now. And I missed you my blogs.
Moved office while the Tiger was roaring and flaunting its fearful symmetry.
greensleeves : song of childhood
29 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
To cast me off discourteously.
For I have loved you well and long,
Delighting in your company.
Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight,
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,
And who but my lady greensleeves.
Your vows you’ve broken, like my heart,
Oh, why did you so enrapture me?
Now I remain in a world apart
But my heart remains in captivity.
I have been ready at your hand,
To grant whatever you would crave,
I have both wagered life and land,
Your love and good-will for to have.
If you intend thus to disdain,
It does the more enrapture me,
And even so, I still remain
A lover in captivity.
My men were clothed all in green,
And they did ever wait on thee;
All this was gallant to be seen,
And yet thou wouldst not love me.
Thou couldst desire no earthly thing,
but still thou hadst it readily.
Thy music still to play and sing;
And yet thou wouldst not love me.
Well, I will pray to God on high,
that thou my constancy mayst see,
And that yet once before I die,
Thou wilt vouchsafe to love me.
Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell, adieu,
To God I pray to prosper thee,
For I am still thy lover true,
Come once again and love me.
Proud Mary
29 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
Left a good job in the city
Workin’ for the Man every night and day
But I never lost a minute of sleepin’
Worryin’ ’bout the way things might have been
Big wheel keep on turnin’
Proud Mary keep on burnin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river
Cleaned a lot of plates in Memphis
Pumped a lot of tane down in New Orleans
But I never saw the good side of a city
‘Til I hitched a ride on the riverboat queen
If you come down to the River
Bet you’re gonna find some people who live
You don’t have to worry ’cause you have no money
People on the river are happy to give
Yang Sopan Yang Susila
26 Jan 2010 1 Comment
in 2010
Januari hampir ke pengakhirnya. Hari ini 10 Safar. Bagaimana jua kita menghitung, sungguh cepat masa berlari meninggalkan kita. Semenjak tahun baru sudah banyak perubahan yang aku usahakan ke atas diriku. Kesannya begitu positif. Aku kini melihat sisa-sisa kehidupanku ini sebagai peluang yang Allah perlanjutkan buatku membetulkan kesilapan-kesilapan dan pemborosan masa lampau, bertaubat dan memohon keredhaan Allah. Hanya yang tiga itu.
Yang selebihnya aku punya keinginan untuk menulis dengan baik. Aku ingin punya kebolehan untuk menyentuh yang paling dasar daripada sejuta jiwa-jiwa manusia. Atau lebih. Aku ingin menulis apa-apa sahaja yang Allah redha. Yang sopan yang susila.
When You’re in Love with a Beautiful Woman
26 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
in Pink
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
It’s hard
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You know it’s hard
Everybody wants her
Everybody loves her
Everybody wants to take your baby home
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You watch your friends
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
It never ends
You know that it’s crazy
You want to trust her
Then somebody hangs up when you answer the phone
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
Maybe it’s just an ego problem
Problem is, Iv’e been fooled before
By fair weathered friends and faint hearted lovers
And everytime it happens
It just convinces me more
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You watch her eyes
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You look for lies
Everybody tempts her
Everybody tells her
She’s the most beautiful woman they know
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You go it alone
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You watch your friends
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You watch her eyes
When you’re in love with a beautiful woman
You keep looking for lies
So I Turn to Books for Solace
21 Jan 2010 1 Comment
in 2010, Books, Uncategorized
This adversity is only temporary. I have set my goals to overcome this adversity realistically and clearly that I see them now as so very possibly achievable. The situation is like paving my escape through a dark narrow tunnel when I already see the light at the end of the tunnel. The only issue is whether I would endure the escape , whether I have the energy to carry on to the end of the tunnel ? 
For the strength that I need, I seek solace in the lettered words of consolation. Shakespeare amazes me with his wonderful quotable on adversity. He must have been put under tremendous adversity to be able to write something as beautiful as that.
Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life, exempt from public haunt,
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones, and good in every thing.
Beautiful, isn’t it ? Oooops… we’ve got to feel and endure adversity before we can actually appreciate the beauty of what Shakespeare says here. They are not merely beautiful words.
Adversity is a good thing to me. They are trials and tribulations that actually call forth my wisdom, my strength, my creativity, my resourcefulness, my …. macam-macam.
Ralph Parlette found some meaning in this quote also. Adversity becomes an open book to you when you realise how instructive adversity is. That’s why the books in the running brooks…
But long before I discover this beautiful words from Shakespeare I was taught this one hadith when the Prophet Muhammad says
It is miraculous the business of the faithfuls
whenever a good thing is bestowed on them
and they be grateful for it
it becomes a good thing for them
whenever a bad thing is inflicted on them
and they become patient, endure it and persevere it
it too becomes a good thing for them
(my poor translation from the arabic)
So now I ask you does not Shakespeare’s “and good in everything” summarize the Prophet’s hadith above on all fours ?
Yang Hitam Manis
20 Jan 2010 Leave a Comment
Don’t look so sad
I know it’s over
But life goes on
And this old world
Will keep on turning
Let’s just be glad
We had some time to spend together
There’s no need to watch the bridges
That we’re burning
Lay your head,
Upon my pillow
Hold your warm and tender body
Close to mine
Hear the whisper of the raindrops
Blowing soft, against the window
And make believe you love me,
One more time,
For the good times
I’ll get along
You’ll find another
And I’ll be here
If you should find,
You ever need me
Don’t say a word
About tomorrow, or forever
There’ll be time enough for sadness
When you leave me
Lay your head
Upon my pillow
Hold your warm and tender body
Close to mine
Hear the whisper of the raindrops
Blowing soft against the window
And make believe you love me
One more time
For the good times
Christianity in books I read
18 Jan 2010 2 Comments
in Books
I read quite a lot of stuff outside my work interests especially when I roll in bed before I actually go to sleep. Once I find a book engaging, I will keep a copy of it with me so that I can read and reread it whenever something revelant to what I read therein pop up. Among books that I have read are M Scott Peck’s The Road Less Traveled, Maxwell Maltz’s Psycho-Cybernetics, Chin-ning Chu’s Do Less Achieve More and most recent one Jean Houston’s a Passion for the Possible. These books are the kind that you actually experience rather than read, because the ideas presented there are very thought-provoking that you automatically connect them to your experiences. These books actually challenge you to test the ideas proposed therein. The books will also give you real exercises for you to practise.
So someone asks :will I find the truth on this shelf ?
I am not a person perfectly apt to discusss Christianity. But it is there in all the books that I read above. Last time when I was a lot younger I encountered the same thing in Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking, I was rather scared that by reading alone, the teaching of Christianity would sap into me without me being aware of it. So, I burned the book.
Now I read the same kind of stuff but with an attitude. The teaching there are not going to get into me. It is possible that I may understand them, but they are not for me. Read it and leave it. I am glad that I embrace and was taught the Furqan first before I venture into the worldly books.
books
I also read Dr Aid Qarni’s Jangan Bersedih, but the approach is really really really different. I read a bit of Dr Tuah Iskandar’s writing in local magazines but am not impressed at all. We muslims have yet to come up with good write up of motivational books encompassing all the modern ideas on psychology. Am I wrong here ? What book I turn to now when I am feeling down, really down ? First and foremost : The Al-Quran. When I am really at the pit of that bottomless abyss, I would open any page at random of that glorious Book and soon I would find the answer that I seek. Always.
2010 Bakal Berbunga Cinta
31 Dec 2009 2 Comments
I am a loving person, so my horoscope says.
This year I want to be 10 times as loving. I want to be more tolerant towards my growing up nieces and nephews. I suppose I should accomodate more time and effort to understand their growing-up emotional needs. Probably read more books related to the subject.
I want to be a better boss to Noli.
To my mum and dad, I want to give more this year, money I mean. And spend more quality time with both of them. And make more phonecalls.
To my dear sis, I choose to be here by your side during these turbulent times. 2008 and 2009 had been rough but we both had made it through. And I see a better year in 2010.
And may I find love in 2010. Aamiin
1Malaysia: Can we be 1 when we are so diverse ?
22 Dec 2009 Leave a Comment
Continuing from my last rambling, the notion of IMalaysia must necessarily imply oneness : one race, one nation, equal treatment ; equality in its most absolute form.
And hey, I found something so very hauntingly in line with what I had in mind when I wrote what I wrote on December 4, 2009. It is what Dr Chandra Muzaffar wrote : on 1Malaysia, ethnicity and the economy. You may want to read it here. Great people think alike , hahh ? Ha ha..
Well, not one hundred percent in line. Dr Chandra’s piece could prove me wrong when I say that the FC’s protection towards the Malays were originally entirely political. Dr C mentioned about the protection to the Malays in form of Malay reserves, business licenses, scholarships (that bears economic impact on the Malays – what are these protections for if not for their economic endeavours ?) I knew that those protection were there from the beginning, but I saw it as entirely political protection. I failed to see that they of course have economic impact.
Another thought now lurks in my head. In a system of government that we consciously adopt for Malaysia today, I say that eventually the politics and power of the nation will be shaped up by those bunch of people who are economically strong. Scary ! How is that possible ? I see corruption as one means how it could be achieved. I see loss of support from the grassroot Malays as another.
flag from here
Where has the headache gone ?
21 Dec 2009 1 Comment
This morning I was feeling jittery and nervous for no valid reason at all. My hands trembled a bit. If this is a symptom of anxiety disorder I would not know. Sometimes I do experience thing like this. There was no external pressure. No client called to hassle me. There was no deadline to meet. But something at the back of my head was worrying me I am sure. And this worry must have been self-induced.
Now after finishing my second bill for the day, the anxiety has gone . I fell happy. Now wondering, where has the headache gone?
To Cikgu, if you are reading this, let it be known that I have been lazy bloggingwise since last week and have started a more robust attitude in straightening some things in office since 1st Muharram. Sebab tu lah rasa seram-seram sejuk tu kot. Azam baru 
My Thought
04 Dec 2009 1 Comment
Let us face this fact : Malay privileges as enshrined in the Federal Constitution is the price the non-Malays have to pay for the rights and protection of common nationality they have gained, which notion is a great loss to the Malays who earlier enjoyed exclusive citizenship on this glorious land.
If you find Malay privileges difficult to accept, try history. To understand the reasoning behind the provisions of the Federal Constitution, in is inevitable that we go back to the historical antecedents and the original intention of the framers of the Federal Constitution; ie the Reid Commission 1956 consisting of Lord Reid (Chairman), Sir Ivor Jennings, Sir William McKell B Malik (India) and Justice Abdul Hamid (Pakistan).
I have a feeling that the inclusion of the provisions of the Malay privileges as envisaged by the Reid Commission was originally entirely for political reasons. There was no consideration as to racial economic segregation whatsoever already prevalent during that time. The inclusion was merely to pacify the Malays for the deep wound the British had caused in conferring rights and liberties of citizenship to the non-Malays.
Therefore the provisions and notion of Malay privileges in its original form was entirely political. The commission in its wisdom had never foreseen that the entire sacred document would fail to stop the economic unrest within the plural society which had already started to build then.
The next time I pen down my thought under this category I am going to propose to you that whatever effort you make to achieve national integration has to be based on everyone’s understanding and acceptance of what I propose in the first paragraph herein.
Next Post
01 Dec 2009 6 Comments
steadfast means not succumbing ....
Dear Amanuensis
29 Nov 2009 Leave a Comment
If I could always be an inspiration
to you
albeit for adverse and hostile notions
I would, still
’cause you inspire me delightfully
by your words
harsh or otherwise
Lelaki Akhir Zaman
28 Nov 2009 5 Comments
Bagaimana harus aku mengolah kebencian ini dengan perkataan. Tentang seorang lelaki yang paling-paling aku benci. Yang di dalam mindaku ini, aku telah membunuhnya berkali-kali. Yang lehernya kupenggal dan kepalanya yang tercerai kucampak kepada anjing. Dan anjing sekalipun rasa jijik lalu menjauh geli untuk menjamah. Atau lagi senang kalau kucampak sahaja ke dalam longkang. Biar dibawa air longkang yang kotor.
Lelaki sepertinya melukut jauh lebih mulia jika dibanding. Kalau tiada tidak mengurangi malah lebih beroleh keamanan.
Lelaki-lelaki yang sepertinya tidak layak bergelar suami, apa lagi membenihkan zuriat.
Aku benci.
To a Beautiful Soul
25 Nov 2009 2 Comments
Here is to a beautiful soul, as stolen from this garden
I am glad I found you
Or rather
We found each other
Seremban Rains Purple Rain
18 Nov 2009 2 Comments
Seremban rains purple rain today. Betull…, check it out …
Current Issues
16 Nov 2009 2 Comments
in PTD
(This post is meant to be updated daily- gotto start from scratch, and time is running)
Got to be prepared :-
1. Isu PPSMI; bencinya
2. Isu SSS vs vernacular education;
3. Isu HINI etc;
4. Isu Rotan Kartika Sari;
5. Apa lagi ekk… yang current-current ?
A Bleak Monday
16 Nov 2009 Leave a Comment
in Pink
Updated at 02.47pm
Well, on a less bleak Monday afternoon – i jot down the answer to the biiig question.
I am happy thay your eyelids did not flicker. Hmmm…
I am happy that I did a mistake or two, just to learn your reactions to them and hence to understand you better. I am happy and contented despite the unanswered mystery looming ahead. For the moment I am just happy to be guided by own intuition.
Bleeding Heart, Discarded Lies..
12 Nov 2009 Leave a Comment
in Pink
My heart bleeds, torn by your lies...
O, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practise to deceive.
In order to formulate a lie, the brain needs to first stop itself from telling the truth and then generates deception. In doing that I wonder if your eyelids would flicker. So next time we are together I am going to be in full control. I am going to look straight at your eyes hmmm…
picture of bleeding heart from here
Updated November 23rd, 2009
Another serendipity ? This morning when I was exercising, musicfm aired the motivation talk by Dr Tuah. He said when a person is lying the nose would enlarge because of some reaction in the body. So while lying the liar would constantly touch his nose. A haaa…
It’s Up To You
06 Nov 2009 3 Comments
It’s Up To You Lyrics
Artist :Barbra Streisand
You can say what you got to say
Wherever you go, baby
I will find a way
I’m ready to go anywhere you choose
It’s up to you
You decide if I live or die
Wherever you go, baby
So will I
I’m ready to accept your point of view
It’s up to you
And there’s something about that way
You smile
Every touch leaves me helpless
Every moment drives me wild
I never saw the cause that made
You lie
I never said goodbye…inside
You can go where you got to go
Wherever you lead, baby
I will follow
I’m ready to be all you want me to
It’s up to you
And I walk in the dark and the
Candle burns
Out of place, your face is missing
Come the day that you return
My love on hold
This moment stops in time
The reason and the rhyme
Inside
You can go where you got to go
Where you lead, baby
I will follow
I’m ready to be all you want me to
It’s up to you
copied from here
ditambah pada November 9, 2009
Here is something to fight this growing alien feeling within me.
The lyrics above depicts perfectly how foolish “a woman in love” can be. Love is an act; something like that. It is not a feeling. M Scott Peck says this. Love as in feelings is only illusory. Love is something to act upon. It is not a feeling that engulfes you, overwhelms you till you get suffocated in surrender and submission. Cheee wah !! Plasapah baru.
Over the years Barbra Streisand has gotten worse from bad in the lesson on love. See how helpless and confused she was in the song below.
BARBARA STREISAND
WOMAN IN LOVE – lyrics
Life is a moment in space, when the dream is gone it’s a lonelier place
I kiss the morning goodbye, but down inside you know we never know whyThe road is narrow and long, when eyes meet eyes and the feeling is strong
I turn away from the wall, I stumble and fall but I give you it allI am a woman in love
And I’d do anything
To get you into my world
And hold you within
It’s a right I defend
Over and over again
What do I doWith you eternally mine, in love there is no measure of time
We planned it all at the start, that you and I live in each other’s hearts
We may be oceans away, you feel my love, I hear what you say
No truth is ever a lie, I stumble and fall, but I give you it allI am a woman in love
And I’d do anything
To get you into my world
And hold you within
It’s a right I defend
Over and over again
What do I doI am a woman in love
And I’m talking to you
I know how you feel
What a woman can do
It’s a right I defend over and over againI am a woman in love
And I’d do anything
To get you into my world
And hold you within
It’s a right I defend
Over and over again
What do I do
copied from here
See what I mean ?
A journey into a zone incognito
28 Oct 2009 4 Comments
in Pink
I have embarked
on a journey into a zone incognito
maybe there is light at the end
or only darkness
only Allah knows
but He will guide me
for He listens to all the prayers
(akan disambung and/or dirombak
bila mood datang
datanglah moodku sayang)
Diubah pada 29/10/2009
I have embarked
on a journey into a zone incognito
maybe there is light at the end
or only darkness
only Allah knows
but He will guide me
for He listens to all the prayers
there are times now
when this feeling so engulfing
at times it subsides
and he disappears into oblivion
that I can live like I do now
so now what ?
Counting the good signs
13 Oct 2009 1 Comment
Let us count good signs that UMNO would improve in the upcoming GE 13th :-
1. overwhelming win at Bagan Pinang bye-election 11-10-2009; a lot has been said. Despite that I read it as a good sign. Do read Sakmongkol’s piece here, Lawyer Kampung’s here . Read here also.
2. amendment to UMNO constitution aimed at curbing money politics.The party is moving to enlarge the voting base from 2,500 delegates to 146,500 members. The rationale is that by doing so, it becomes much harder to bribe such a huge number of voters; quoted verbatim from here. One UMNO disciplinary board member however does not think it good enough read here
3. Opposition infantility ; read Art Harun’s suggestion that Bagan Pinang could be the start of demise of Pakatan here
Top in my wish list would be covenants by UMNO top leaders that they will fight corruption, FROM THEIR OWN MOUTHS CLEARLY AND LOUDLY
Let us hope there are more good signs to keep me counting on…
I’ll Never Fall in Love Again
13 Oct 2009 Leave a Comment
I’ll Never Fall in Love Again
(Carpenters’) 
pic from here
(here to remind you, here to remind you,
Here to remind you, here to remind you)
What do you get when you fall in love
A girl with a pin to burst your bubble
That’s what you get for all your trouble
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
What do you get when you kiss a guy
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, he’ll never phone you
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
Don’t tell me what it’s all about
’cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I’m here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain
and sorrow
So far at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
Don’t tell me what it’s all about
’cause I’ve been there and I’m glad I’m out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I’m have here to remind you
Here to remind you, here to remind you
Toh! here to remind you
What do you get when you fall in love
You only get lies and pain and sorrow
So, far at least until tomorrow
I’ll never fall in love again
I’ll never fall in love again
The End of the World
10 Sep 2009 Leave a Comment
Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world,
`cause you don't love me anymore?
Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the stars glow above?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when I lost your love.
I wake up in the morning and I wonder why
ev'rything's the same as it was.
I can't understand, no I can't understand, how life
goes on the way it does!
Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine cry?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said good-bye.
Pessimism glorified. Don’t know who did the original of the above.
Beyond Ramadhan
02 Sep 2009 Leave a Comment
Ramadhan is not about good food. Ramadhan is not about Bazaar Ramadhans. Ramadhan is not about delightful cookies. Ramadhan is not about fireworks and meriam buluhs he he…Ramadhan is not about baju rayas and kasut rayas.
Ramadhan is also not about ibadat sunnat 24 jam while the more important principles of Islam are tossed to the drain.
Be grateful !
17 Aug 2009 Leave a Comment
in Pink
You’ve got to believe me, when one day you decide to do away with God’s gift upon you, God will take it away from you and give it to another person more in need of it.
You do away with it when you cease to be grateful of its existence. You take it for granted. You stop taking care of it. 
The gift may be in the form of children or a business opportunity or a car or a roof above you head.
So dear, start counting God’s grace on you.
Di Puncak Gunung
13 Aug 2009 Leave a Comment
Udara gunung yang segar rasa sarat bila dihela. Sebentar nanti Nenek Kebayan akan menjelma lagi. Katanya, dia akan sampaikan syarat-syarat yang akan ditetapkan oleh sang puteri gunung. Aku dan mereka yang lain menunggu dengan sabar.
Tidak lama selepas itu muncullah Nenek Kebayan dari celah banir pokok besar itu…
Nenek Kebayan : He he he ……
Boleh tahan juga seringai wajah Nenek Kebayan itu. Walaupun pakaiannya compang-camping, bau harum kurasakan menusuk segenap jengkal dan depa belantara itu. Satu perasaan aneh menyelinap ke seluruh tubuhku. Satu perasaan seolah aku sedang berdepan dengan seorang wanita cantik penuh berahi… bukannya nenek kebayan yang kerepot yang sudah putus penyakit bulannya.
Aku : Err… Sudahkah Nenek dapat sebarang pesan dari Tuan Puteri ?
Nenek Kebayan : Ehem ….. cucu. Ehemm …. (dia cakap dengan suara terteran-teran sebijik macam Nasir Bilal Khan dalam semua lakonannya, demikian pendapat anak saudaraku Laula, 8 tahun)
Aku menunggu dengan sabar apa yang akan diperkatakan oleh Nenek Kebayan seterusnya.
Pantun Orang Gundah II
09 Jul 2009 Leave a Comment
Halia itu tanam-tanaman
Ke barat juga akan tumbuhnya
Dunia ini pinjam-pinjaman
Ke akhirat juga akan sungguhnya
Satu tangan bilangan lima
Dua tangan bilangan sepuluh
Nenek tanam biji delima
Mengapa pula peria yang tumbuh
Anak rusa nani
Baru kembang ekor
Apa dosa kami
Lalu tidak tegur
Pantun Orang Gundah
25 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
Tenang-tenang air di laut
Sampan kolek mudik ke tanjung
Hati terkenang mulut tersebut
Budi yang baik rasa nak junjung
Nyiur gading puncak mahligai
Sayang ketupat berisi inti
Hancur daging tulang berkecai
Belum dapat belum berhenti
Pulau Pandan jauh ke tengah
Gunung Daik bercabang tiga
Hancur badan dikandung tanah
Budi yang baik dikenang juga
Kalau ada sumur di ladang
Boleh kita menumpang mandi
Kalau ada umur yang panjang
Boleh kita berjumpa lagi
Kalau ada jarum yang patah
Baiklah disimpan di dalam peti
Kalau ada ada kata yang salah
Simpan sahaja di dalam hati
Recent Comments